


A Mysterious Connection

by XeroSanity



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Hux's point of view, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylo's point of view, Kylux - Freeform, Love, M/M, Rey - Freeform, Rey's point of view, Reylo - Freeform, Romance, Sequel Series, Some Divergence from Canon, Starwars - Freeform, The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi - Freeform, i righted a few wrongs from the films with these stories, mostly following canon, not very smutty sorry, pov switching, there are no sex scenes between kylo and hux in this one, there are parts that might emotionally traumatize you, theres a little bit of smut but its mostly emotional, welcome to the jungle baby
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-30
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23923216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XeroSanity/pseuds/XeroSanity
Summary: The Interrogation scene from Kylo's point of view. Rey's feelings toward the monster in the woods had been wrong. This monster had a soft voice, and chocolate brown eyes...Can the scavenger girl bring even the darkest of monsters back into the light? (Covers episodes 7-9)
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I found you I found me  
> Nothing around, far as I could see  
> You were the current that carried me  
> When I found you I found me  
> Lines in the sand only you can read  
> My S.O.S., yeah, you rescued me  
> Rescue Me
> 
> -Rescue Me by Marshmello Feat. A Day To Rememeber

He hadn't wanted to restrain her.  
But he saw the way she moved through the forest. Alert and aware, picking up every sound, every movement. She contained all the grace of a predator or exotic animal. Her instincts were spot on and defensive. He wouldn't have been able to talk to her otherwise.

Though he shouldn't have, he took this rare opportunity to look at her, absorbing every detail like he was gulping down water. Even with dirt smudged across her cheek, torn scavenger clothes and hair strewn about her face, she was a gravitational pull, the pout of her lips and the soft thump of her heartbeat burning every inch of him as he had no choice but to fall into her orbit. A lone piece of space debris, he longed to somehow make it past her atmosphere so he could be lonely with her too. 

He was sure she remembered him. Somewhere. In the deep recesses of her mind. But obviously not enough. The image of her running and darting through the trees, desperate to get away from him, shooting at him with a blaster came to mind.

It was not how he pictured their reunion to be.

The dark knight gazed upon her sleeping form adoringly, aching to stroke her gentle face, or move a wisp of hair from her forehead, but he didn't dare. He couldn't let himself. As his eyes moved up her body, past her shoulders, and to her face, he noticed the line between her eyes. Even unconscious, her tension was visible. Her entire body was taut as a string, her brow furrowed, and her jaw clenched. 

She was in agony.

Kylo forced himself to turn away from her, clenching his fists shut at his sides. Freezing her body and putting her to sleep had been necessary. But…dwelling into her mind while she was unconscious…  
His eyes wandered back to her face.  
It felt dirty. Unfair. She was defenseless at the moment. He had multiple advantages over her. He wouldn't even be giving her a chance.

But…

Kylo straightened his shoulders, rearranging his face under the mask so he was the picture of calm and collected. He stretched the energy field around him to merge with hers, until he'd established a link with her mind.

Effortlessly he snuck past the walls she'd placed on herself. Not for defense against psychic attacks, but rather to protect herself from pain.  
He gritted his teeth at this realization. Then scowled when he realized it bothered him. Her emotions and thoughts were so vivid it was as though she was screaming them at him.

She knew now she had a connection to the force. And it terrified her. She saw what people with the force could do…like him…  
The girl was afraid it was the reason her parents had left her behind.

Kylo was momentarily distracted by streams of water falling from her eyes. He bit his tongue to keep from wiping them away, getting back to the task at hand.  
He watched the image play in her mind. A ship disappearing into the blue sky of Jakku, a young girl crying out, begging for her family to come back.

Years of loneliness and waiting…

Her body shook with anguish and exhaustion, tired of feeling this way. Tired of falling asleep and reliving these emotions over and over. It was such a strain…if only she could just sleep…  
She knew loneliness and abandonment. She knew it all too well.

Like him.

The dark knight froze as his heart pounded hard in his chest. It was as if he were watching his own memories. A young child, dumped by their parents, reaching for a future they couldn't have.

Her anxiety and isolation affected her so strongly it had manifested itself into physical pain. A pain he could feel just by looking at her. He couldn't help himself.

The man clad in black lowered his hand so it was just inches above her face, palm downwards.

For the first time in a while, he channeled the light. He gave her visions of a blue ocean, sunny skies, soft, lush green grass. The salty smell of ocean air, the warmth of sunlight on her back. He gave her love and light and life, so that it flowed throughout her whole body.  
The girl relaxed, peace overcoming her expression. Her arms and legs went limp, as she snuggled deeper into the seat, her breathing became even and deep, her chest falling and rising like the ocean waves. The sight made his heart ache. It was unnerving.

Kylo Ren moved his hand away, carefully surveilling her dreams, making sure they didn't go back to a dark place. Though he desperately wanted to, he didn't wake her up.  
Instead, he resigned to kneel at her feet, exercising the most patience he'd ever spent for the sake of another. The girl he thought he'd lost was within arm's length. So close. He could count the freckles on her nose. But she may as well have been in another star system, for she remained untouchable. It made him miserable with weakness and frustration. But she needed to trust him. He needed her to trust him.

He'd waited this long.

~.~

The girl woke up with a start, instantly terrified that she couldn't move. She glanced down to see him kneeling on the ground, looking up at her. He was glad she couldn't see his expression behind the mask. It was half the reason he wore it.

"Where am I?" her voice was scared and defensive, sharp as though breathing was difficult.

He couldn't help gasping. The sound of her voice was that of a young girl's, so feminine and disarming. He wasn't expecting it to have such an effect on him.

But her voice was scared. He didn't want her to be scared. "You're my guest," he said gently, recovering himself.  
She raised an eyebrow, taken aback by his tone. "W-where are the others?" she asked, as though she was unsure of who she was as a person when she wasn't around them.

The knight couldn't keep the resentment out of his response, irritated that she preferred their company over his. "You mean the murders, traitors, and thieves you call friends?" he pointed out. Not that he was much better. He was all of those things too. But he backtracked. "You'll be relieved to hear I have no idea." He tried to keep his usual snark to a minimum but it was an effort.

Maybe if he could coax her…gently nudge her mind, see what –

He bristled.

She was thinking of how to escape the room. Escape him. He'd terrified her, a dark, lumbering figure in the woods stalking her until she was trapped like an animal. She felt humiliated and weak. She wished she had her blaster. "You still want to kill me," he said with sudden revelation, glad she couldn't see his face flush with hurt.

Her jaw was tight. "That happens when you're being hunted by a creature in a mask," she snarled.

He smirked under the mask. Monster, huh? he thought.

With the grace of a Prince, he unfastened the buckles on his helmet, pulled it off, and rose to meet her gaze.  
She gawked, caught off guard with how human he looked as he stood motionless. The girl's eyes wandered up and down his body, then she looked off to the side, as if she'd been embarrassed to have done so. Maybe she didn't remember him, but some things didn't change.

He liked how she looked too. Kylo walked forward so he was closer to her. He wanted this to be a conversation, not a torture session. "Tell me about the droid," he prompted softly like it was just a normal breach of topic.

But she was stubborn, avoiding eye contact and immediately going into a rant about its hardware. "He's a BB unit with a selenium drive and thermal hyper scan vindicator – "

No, he thought to himself, getting irritated. She needed to be open with him. "He's carrying a section of a navigational chart," he interrupted. She had to cooperate with him. He didn't want to resort to his alternative methods. He didn't want to do that to her. "We have the rest," he continued, "recovered from archives of the empire, but we need the last piece. And somehow you convinced the droid to show it to you." He scowled, his ego bruised. "You. A scavenger." He couldn't help it. It was infuriating.

He needed to prove himself to Snoke. He himself struggled so much with ignoring the call of the light. His internal conflict was tearing him apart. He needed it to end. Kylo needed to be strong, dedicating himself to a purpose, a cause. If he found the last piece of the map, Snoke would help him complete his training, and he wouldn't have to feel all of these overwhelming emotions. The longing for the girl in front of him, the emptiness that mirrored hers, his mother's face…

But he was startled out of his reverie at her humiliated expression, and the unshed tears in her eyes. She was afraid, despite the brave face she was putting on. He saw it. She wasn't proud that she was a scavenger. She knew what she was, and that her mark on this world wasn't even a blemish on the surface of time and space. She hated that he saw it. Saw her.

It was clear he had to use force. For her sake, he'd make it quick. Despite what she might think, he derived no pleasure from doing this. But he had to make a point. "You know I can take whatever I want," he said, emulating an air of complete confidence.  
He could do anything to her. Torture her with his mind, tear her apart piece by piece until she was a shadow of emptiness and sorrow, writhing on that containment slab. If only she knew how much restraint he was exercising.  
He could've activated his lightsaber and had her killed in an instant.  
But he'd treated her with more tenderness and gentility than he had treated anyone in years. She didn't have a scratch on her, her sanity was still intact, and violating her in any way hadn't even crossed his mind.  
But she had to know that he could, if he wanted to.

He'd start with something mild.

Kylo raised a hand to channel his power, instantly causing the girl to seize and stiffen her body in resistance. He entered his conscious into her mind, not even beginning to use his sight yet. Just absorbing her emotions, which weren't well hidden. He was being quite gentle, but he knew she wasn't used to the sensation. Sharing a consciousness with another person, having her mind pushed and prodded. She gritted her teeth in extreme discomfort.

But this was nothing compared to what he could do. With this frame of reference, he continued. "You're so lonely," he said softly, but he didn't need to search her mind to know that part. He searched her feelings, the racing of her heart. She'd been away from Jakku for too long. They could've come back for her, looking for her, only to find that she'd disappeared. She might've lost her chance to find her family.

Every second she was trapped here was a waste of time. Every second she'd spent with Finn and Han Solo was keeping her from what was most important. She never should've taken in BB8 or she wouldn't be in this mess.

He started to use his sight now. He saw flashes: the tally marks on her wall, the long-dead flower on her nightstand, still kept in a vase as if it were precious. The pilot helmet she clung to like a childhood toy, her reluctance to look away from the sky.  
His voice was soft and coaxing as he tried to ignore the pangs of despair and longing he felt. "So afraid to leave," he murmured. Her loneliness was a weight on her chest, making it difficult for her to sleep. She lay awake for hours in the darkness of her home, knowing in her head she had to get a decent amount of rest or she wouldn't have the energy to scavenge for parts the next morning.

And no parts meant no food.

But she couldn't. The sandy wastelands of Jakku were freezing at night. She would place bags of sand and piles of scavenged parts that didn't make the cut for rations on either side of her cot, to give herself the illusion she was sleeping next to someone.  
The interrogator let a smile tug at the corner of his mouth. If she were his, he'd be able to ease her loneliness. She'd have nothing but dreams of blue seas and soft sand between her toes. If only she could've trusted him, she never would've felt alone again.  
But instead, here they were, the last place he wanted to be. "At night…desperate to sleep," he said, and then he saw. "You imagine an ocean."  
Of course, she would. She loved the ocean. It was a cruel irony that she'd be sent away to a place where there wasn't a drop of water to rub between her fingers. She'd loved it more than anything else. Above all things, he remembered that the most. "I see it," he confirmed, getting almost lost in her fantasy, her happy place. "I see the island," his tone was dreamy.

Her imagination was so vivid. He smelled the salt, tasted it on his tongue, felt the ocean breeze in his hair. Felt the bubble of seafoam pop against his ankles and the damp sand sink beneath his feet. He’d blocked it out of his mind for so long, he’d forgotten how much he loved it himself. 

But his pleasant oasis came to a crashing halt as his father's face surfaced in his mind. He saw the moments he'd craved for himself. Bonding over the Millennium Falcon, the mutually extensive knowledge of ships and the parts that made them work.  
She was a knack with machines. Always had been.

"And Han Solo," he said, his tone suddenly neutral and emotionless, like he was talking about a stranger. "He's like the father you never had," he stated matter of factly. "He would've disappointed you," he reassured.

But she'd had it. Her cheeks were flushed with exertion, her hands were clenched into fists and her jaw remained taught as a bowstring. "Get out of my head," she demanded through gritted teeth.

He pulled away, stepping back, but keeping the mind connection open. He wasn't done yet.

"You've seen the map," he repeated, reminding her of why she was here. "It's in there. And now you'll give it to me." He'd wasted time. He's let his emotions for her influence his actions. He could've had the map already. He didn't want to cause her pain.

But she wasn't giving him a choice.

His arm was still outstretched.

"I'm not giving you anything," she said sharply, with obvious effort.

She was still fighting him, more than the rebel pilot had been able to do. She had a strong mind. He couldn't help admiring that. "We'll see," he whispered softly, confident in his abilities.

He leaned too close to her though. He'd nearly brushed her cheek with the tips of his gloved fingers. Despite the fact he hadn't, she gasped anyway, her cheeks flushing as a shudder passed through her. Kylo wished he had his helmet on. Without it, his heart was an open book. He'd never been able to mask his emotions the way she could.

Without it, she'd seen his eyes. The way he was looking at her. She'd seen how he'd reacted to it too. He pulled away only slightly, startled by how close he'd gotten to her. But his energy had brushed gently past her own and it stabbed him with such a pang of familiarity he trembled.

The sensation was all-consuming, overcoming every cell.

This energy…

It was more intimate than touching her could ever be. "Don't be afraid, I feel it too," he whispered, letting her have this one piece of him.

That was the moment he was overcome. He was smitten. After this damn interrogation, he'd give her anything. He'd be anything she wanted. Guardian, comrade, lover…

His fantasies were dashed in seconds. There was a solid barrier in his path. It may as well have been made of stone, there was no penetrating it.

He was stunned out of his dreamy reverie, powerless to do more than look upon her in astonishment and hurt. He'd felt something. She'd felt it too. But she was choosing to ignore it, shutting him out.

She'd put a barrier on her mind. And suddenly she was pushing back.

No, he thought. She couldn't. She'd see his conflict, she'd see his isolation. How the light beckoned to him like the succubus it was.  
He put forth more effort. He wasn't holding back now. He couldn't let her. But to his horror, he was still being pushed. His eyes widened in frustration as she grew in power. She was stretching muscles she'd just discovered. There was an excess of energy hitting him so hard it was blinding. He stretched his fingers till they were stiff as boards, desperate to stop this. But despite his years of training and her ridiculous lack of experience, she was fighting him.

And she was winning.

He pleaded with her. Stop, he warned, breathing hard with effort. Her presence in his mind was subtle and soft, like a drop of rain against your skin. His instinct was to give in to it. Amplify these sensations and get swept into them. He was frozen, helpless to do anything but push against her in vain.

"You," she said in surprise, "You're afraid."

No, don't, he was screaming it, completely caught off guard by this invasion.

She was going to vocalize the fear he'd held inside him for the past decade. She couldn't. It wasn't fair. He hadn't even admitted to himself. It was the one lie he allowed himself to tell. The girl would tear him apart. Ruin him. Crush him. He begged her with his eyes, visibly straining against her.

She said it anyway.

"That you'll never be as strong as Darth Vader!"

He cut off the connection, withdrawing his arm and clutching it to his chest as if she'd burned him. He'd taken a few steps back, suddenly needing all the distance he could get from this girl.

Kylo Ren's eyes were no doubt fearful, his whole body rattled. It was then he remembered he wasn't wearing his mask.

She saw it all. His shock and horror, the betrayal stamped on his face. She hadn't looked away, as though she was reveling in her newfound power. She'd done the unforgivable; Put his vulnerability on display, triumphing in his weakness, reducing him to a hyperventilating mess, drops of sweat clinging to the back of his neck.

He should've been furious. He should've killed her right then and there. But all he could bring himself to feel was devastation and despair.  
It rolled off of him in waves as he slowly drowned in it.

She cleared her throat like she was embarrassed. "I t-told you to – "

The girl stopped dead when he shot her a glare from across the room, pooling and spilling over with an emotion she couldn't name.  
She had an expression on her face like she felt somewhat regretful for doing this to him. But he blinked and all traces of it dissipated.

"Keeping me here is a mistake," she said in a monotone, lacking any emotion.

It infuriated him.

"They'll come back for me," she said, but with more conviction this time. "And they'll come back with friends."

How could she do that? Talk to him as though he were an adversary, like nothing had passed between them? Kylo Ren raised a hand and clenched his fist. The restraints on her wrists and ankles popped open, allowing her to move freely.

She immediately darted away from him to the other corner of the room. To her surprise, he'd made no move towards her.

In fact, he seemed to be enjoying the distance.

"You speak to me as though I'm an enemy," he stated flatly, voicing an unasked question, reluctantly making eye contact.

She scowled. "Why would you be anything otherwise?"

His eyes narrowed. He snapped. The fuming man made it across the room in just a few long strides, inches from her face like he'd been before. She braced herself for another psychic attack, but it didn't come.

Instead, he only gazed into her eyes with that same intensity. "You don't have to trust me," he whispered, choosing his words carefully. "You don't have to like me."

She glared him down, refusing to show weakness.  
But her heart hammered in her chest at having someone so close to her.  
His breath tickled the tip of her nose. She was close enough to see the curve of his lashes, the reddish tint to his mouth.

He raised his hand, but only to gesture to the space between them, what little of it there was left. "But do not act as though there is nothing here," he said darkly. "Do not lie."

Color rose to the girl's cheeks and her hands fidgeted with nervousness, but she didn't back down.  
"The very least we can be to each other is honest," he stated as if he were scolding her.

What did he mean, the very least they could be? Was he saying he wanted to be more? She didn't like him referring to them both as if they were a collective. They weren't to be grouped together as though they were friends.  
She was speechless.

"Of all the things I've done," he insisted, his voice soft but radiating emotion, "I've never deceived you."

Somehow, due to his close proximity, the gentleness of his voice, and the rawness of his emotions, Rey was frozen where she stood, despite being free. She was captivated, and at the same time outraged by this man. Any form of intelligible response to him was a miracle.  
She had no logical way of knowing if he was telling the truth, but there was nothing in his gaze to indicate that he was lying. "People don't mask themselves unless they have something to hide," she muttered. Her counter-statement was a small victory.

He swallowed, emotions exposed once again. "Do you see it now?" he asked, his eyes so stubborn and unwavering.

And just like that she was back to square one.

Rey was horrified to find she was short of breath, unable to look away from the dark brown of this man's eyes. He was drinking her in as though she were color or oxygen. It was bewitching. She hadn't been expecting this from the monster. This…vulnerability, this blatant evidence of humanity and his struggle to fight it. The battles he'd lost against it.

His eyes strayed from hers to look down at her mouth. It was so fast she could've missed it if she weren't paying attention. She bit down on her lip nervously in response.

If he laid a hand on her…She could tell he desperately wanted to.

His lips were parted slightly as if the close proximity was affecting him just as much as her. The energy between them was an electric whirring buzz so breathtaking she could hear it. He could easily close the gap between them, crash his mouth against hers, sweep her up into his arms and have his way with her. She could feel his want…his desire…

He rose a gloved hand to her face.

She flinched, gritting her teeth, expecting another invasion.

But he simply brushed a finger over her cheek, letting the tip of one of his fingers rest on her bottom lip, where she'd bitten it.  
The contact made her shudder and gasp with shock. She hadn't expected that. He hadn't done anything like this up until now.  
Color rose to her cheeks almost instantaneously. No one had treated her like this before.

His hand had cupped her face in a soft caress, the musky smell of the leather filling her nose and flooding her senses.

Their eyes were locked. Despite the fact he'd kidnapped her and held her against her will, she didn't see hatred or darkness in his eyes.  
Only this maddening fervor, a need to be close to her. As close as possible. Without realizing it, Rey had been leaning forward slightly, the lids of her eyes half-lidded, almost feeling the tip of his nose against hers.

She'd forgotten about the others. Finn, BB8, Han Solo and Moz...her mind was blank. But something in his eyes changed, like he'd just recalled something. To her shock, he pulled away.

The sudden loss of warmth and contact sent a shiver through her.

Let free from the spell, she immediately looked down, closing her eyes and trying to shut out the feeling that had come over her.  
But she found herself biting down on her lip because he hadn't, and her face was hot, warm from the echo of his soft glove against her skin.  
The tip of her tongue still tasted like leather.  
She'd breathed out with a heavy sigh. But it hadn't been one of relief, it was one of disappointment.

He'd withdrawn. And she was disappointed. She scowled at herself.

Kylo Ren's mouth became a hard line, like he was trying to get rid of an impression or memory. "Damn Hux," he muttered under his breath.  
The word was foreign to her. But it seemed like he was distracted by something. A matter he needed to address or a problem he needed to solve.  
Her thought process unraveled when he made eye contact with her again.  
With the same softness she'd found in his voice, he reached a hand up to brush a strand of hair out of her face, and place it behind her ear.  
The girlish instincts that were surfacing only now screamed at her to lean into his warmth, and allow herself to be encompassed by his large, towering form. It was a physical effort to fight them. Almost harder than fighting him. But after stroking her cheek one last time, he withdrew his hand and slowly lumbered over to make his exit.

"I have no intention of harming you," he said flatly. He stepped towards the hanger door, typing in a code. Before stepping out of it he said over his shoulder with a wounded tone, "I'm the only one on this entire base who can say that."

With those final words, he exited the cell, the electronic door slamming behind him, leaving Rey in the cold and silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's A pretty girl   
> Somewhere with a pretty name  
> But I could never let you know how much this means   
> I swear we'll end this war  
> cuz we both know  
> it wasn't worth fighting for
> 
> -A Cross And A Girl Named Blessed by Evans Blue

Rey wrapped her arms around herself, gasping for air. Her hands were shaking, her blood roaring in her ears, the beat of her heart erratic and loud. What was this? Adrenaline was coursing through her veins. Even when she’d been running for her life through Jakku’s Black Markets, it hadn’t felt like this. 

Why did he stop? What would have happened if he hadn’t stopped?

Was he…going to…

A hand went to her mouth at the thought. Did she want him to? But…  
Her thoughts jumped to Finn. She’d thought maybe…But she swallowed, tears springing to her eyes. She’d thought he was a hero. A great warrior of the Resistance. She even considered…maybe after returning BB8 to the Resistance that she could’ve joined him…they could’ve…

But he’d lied to her. 

He wasn’t a revered Resistance fighter, he wasn’t even a loyal soldier. He’d been a lying coward just trying to flee from the First Order, and he had no problem with leaving her behind to complete BB8’s reconnaissance mission by herself. Finn probably wasn’t even his real name.   
She gritted her teeth, fighting the urge to cry. She thought maybe he’d cared for her. But Finn was gone. He’d taken his first chance to make it to the outer rim, and didn’t look back. Finn didn’t care, and now she had bigger problems. Rey took a deep breath and sighed, trying to get herself together. 

She could still feel his glove on her face. He’d taken her hostage. But what he’d said was true. 

Of all the things I’ve done, I’ve never deceived you.

She bit back his words, despite the fact they were fighting their way through her mind. 

I have no intention of harming you. 

She audibly groaned with frustration, clasping her head in her hands.   
Stop this, she told herself. 

She was a hostage of the First Order. Regardless of how gentle her captor could be, he was still her captor. Now that he was out of the room, she could finally think clearly. Rey focused on regulating her breathing.

He claimed to have no desire to hurt her, but it would only be a matter of time before he’d come back for round two of interrogating the scavenger. And his previous methods didn’t work. She remembered the heat from the tip of his lightsaber just inches from her eyes.   
He was a loose cannon. He couldn’t be trusted. And he’d took it upon himself to stroll through her mind like it was a garden on Naboo. 

Maybe next time he’d try something worse. 

She lowered her hands so her arms were at her sides, more focused. She knew two things for certain. One, if she could get her hands on a ship, she’d be in the clear and maybe even make it to the Illenium system after she installed a cloaker over the TIE fighter’s tracking software. And two…she’d seen Kylo type in that code. 

She marched over to the haul door without a second thought. Her fingers mirrored the motion of his. 

5-2-7-7-5. 

To her astonishment, the door slid open with a satisfying metallic clang.   
Her heart pounded as she soundlessly crept through the hallways, unsure of the direction she was going but desperate to get away from that cell.   
Step 1, hack into a monitor so she could find a map for this place.   
Step 2, acquire a weapon.   
Step 3 – 

But she was body-slammed by a shiny silver blaster before she could get that far. Rey was pinned between the cold ground and the sharp body of the weapon, pressure unbearably sharp on her lungs. Without her staff, she was defenseless. A worm under someone’s shoe.  
She could fight off smugglers and thugs on Jakku, but she was no match against a trained soldier. The stormtrooper loomed over her as if she were a rat he’d found eating his lunch, full of disgust and hatred. 

“Where do you think you’re going, Scavenger Scum?” he said in a gravely tone.

All she saw was the butt of the gun before everything went black. 

~.~

This wasn’t good. Supreme Leader Snoke wanted to see the Scavenger Girl. That could only mean one thing. He wanted her to join them. And she wouldn’t do it. Which meant she would die.

Kylo was practically running down the long, metallic halls of the Star Killer Base to get back to her Cell. He’d put the helmet back on. He couldn’t let his inferiors see him so emotionally compromised. He had to get her off this battle station if he wanted her to live. The faster he got her on a ship, the better off she’d be. Kylo couldn’t get there fast enough. He sighed bitterly, resentful. She’d resisted him. So stubborn, so full of raw talent. It was simultaneously frustrating and exhilarating. 

He couldn’t blame Snoke for wanting her to join their ranks. She was special. Of course, she was special. He’d known that the moment he heard her voice. The girl…no…Rey. Rey was so…there, now. In every cell of his being, consuming every thought. 

Perhaps he’d just been using the wrong approach, after all. He looked down at his hand, remembering when he’d used it to hold her face. He’d seen the change in her eyes. He’d felt the girl shudder beneath his touch, startled and violated and cherished all at once. She’d been ready to give in. 

He’d done all the right things. He’d submitted to the feelings Skywalker forbade him from having. Passion, desire, want, need…

He’d laid it all out in front of her, bore his entire self. He’d been hers. And for an ecstatic moment, she’d almost been his. But he scowled, growling with frustration. 

Damn Hux. Damn Snoke. Damn everything. 

He tried to slow his pace as he stalked down the hall. His feelings didn’t matter now. He needed to get her off this Death Machine before they sensed his true intentions. Her life and her eyes were his only thoughts as he got closer.

The world slowed down to a snail’s pace as he approached the hanger only to see an open door and an empty chair. For a moment, all he could hear was his own breathing in his ears, uneven and short. “No,” he muttered quietly, pain shooting through his heart like an icicle. 

He’d been so close. 

He’d had her. 

She’d looked at him with those eyes…

It wasn’t fair. 

"No,” he groaned louder, on the verge of tears or a breakdown. He circled the chair, as if maybe the longer he stared at it, the more he’d be able to see her, open and at his mercy once again. 

She was here. 

He’d only been gone minutes. 

This couldn’t be it. It just wasn’t fair. 

Then there was nothing but rage. 

Pure, blinding rage. 

Flashes of red and the sounds of his lightsaber filled the room at the same pace as his grief and frustration. “GAAAAHHHH!!!!!!” He outburst, uncaring as sparks from the protesting metal and the fiery light scorched bits of his uniform.

She was gone.

He’d literally had her between his fingers. She’d been putty in his hands as he muttered sweet things to her in the darkness. The promises he’d wanted to make. 

And now he’d lost her. 

Again. 

He’d been so. Damn. Close. 

He cried out again as the chair that had been used to restrain her was reduced to a pile of matter and ashes, still hissing with steam.   
How could she? She knew. She knew! She’d seen his heart, open and aching for her. How could she do this to him? He’d seen her dreams, the Island she loved, and she made him love it too. She’d made him practically sway on his feet with desire for her, for those soft lips and the delectable nape of her neck. 

This was worse than exposing him. So much worse. 

He wailed in agony with every strike, not even stopping for a breath.   
She couldn’t leave him like this. She just couldn’t. He’d just gotten her back. There wouldn’t be another girl like her, not if he looked for a thousand years.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was just an only child of the universe   
> And then I found you, and then I found you  
> You are the sun and I am just the planets spinning around you  
> spinning around you 
> 
> -Last, of the Real Ones, Fall out Boy

Rey woke up, once again, panicked. She scowled. The fact she woke up expecting to be bound and in handcuffs was becoming a major problem. This time she was in a…room? She quickly scanned the area for buttons, a control panel…

Her face paled as she took in her surroundings.

There was nothing. The walls and floor were seamless, rounded like she was in some giant bowl. There were no corners, as if the cell had been constructed by the same piece. But that was impossible. She ran frantically to the walls, feeling with her fingertips for a crease or break in the metal, a screw, anything. There wasn't even a door. She swallowed down her nervousness, brushing her hair back from her face. That didn't make sense. The only way this could've worked is if they built the cell around her while she was unconscious, which was completely ridiculous. Who would go through the trouble of doing such a thing just for some lowly scavenger that Jakku had coughed up?

She wasn't an established member of The Resistance, or a deserter, or honestly anyone of interest to The First Order. She gasped. Except for the fact she was now a force user.

Somehow. And she'd managed to out force-probe Kylo Ren himself. She flushed with awkwardness. But he hadn't seemed angered by that. Mostly just…betrayed. Hurt. Would he really have been wounded enough to do this to her?

But then his words echoed in her mind.

I have no intention of harming you. I'm the only person on this entire Base who can say that. 

Maybe it was simply because he didn't have a choice. He couldn't get what he wanted from her, couldn't control her mind.  
She wasn't like a regular prisoner. She was dangerous. A few words and a head nod would be enough for her to overpower a guard and snag a ship. Or do worse.

Maybe that was why she was getting special treatment. Rey sat down in a pretzel on the ground with a sigh, hugging herself. No, she thought, Somehow I know this isn't Ren's doing. This was…

And it came back to her. That stormtrooper in the hallway. The strong scent of smelt was still in her nostrils, the throbbing of her head from where she was hit. She glanced into the shiny reflective surface of her container. It was hard to make out, but there was red where her forehead was supposed to be.

He'd made her bleed. Her eyes got misty and her throat stung. She wiped away what would've fallen from her eyes with frustration.  
She'd been safer in that cell. Kylo would've never done this to her. When he'd touched her there was a gentility and affection she couldn't put a name to. He'd been almost…tender. Like she was someone he knew, or cared about. But she couldn't dwell on that now.

There was only one thing to do.

She laid down and took deep breathes, closing her eyes, relaxing. Prisoners got food and water, right? There were meal times for…inmates. Which meant eventually, a guard was going to come…somehow…and that was when she'd make her move. She made herself the picture of calm, almost calm enough to appear asleep.

Now all she had to do was wait.

~.~

Kylo laid down on his bed in his chambers, sulking. She was smart. Brilliant. A capable fighter, strong with the Force…knowing her, she was gone. Lost to him.

Forever.

No, he scolded himself.

He had to calm down and think. For once, anger and hatred was not going to help him in this situation. He closed his eyes and meditated, focusing on regulating his breathing. Gradually, he got his heart to slow, and he opened his eyes, relaxed from head to toe.

Now, to think. His aim was to focus on not that she was gone, but where she would have gone.

The first option was obvious. Jakku. To play her waiting game. To him, it was illogical to have any desire to return to that hell hole of a planet. But to her it meant everything. The second option was running to the Resistance.  
Either way, she never would've made it off Starkiller without a ship.

He sat up, walked over to the communication console and tapped into the intercom. "I need an update on all Escape Pods, Cruisers, Destroyers, and TIEs that have been unaccounted for in the past four hours."

A response was instantaneous. "Captain Phasma, checking in with all quadrants of the Base, Commander Ren. You'll receive an update shortly."

Ren sat back in his chair. It annoyed him, but Hux was a necessary sin. His army served as staff and intelligence on Star Killer Base, as well as any other ventures Snoke wished to embark on.  
Without Snoke's guidance and Hux's resources, it never would've been possible for Kylo to make it this far.  
He owed it to them to find Rey, and get her to join their side. Or at least that's what he told himself.

But Ren was jarred from his thoughts at the sound of a beep on the intercom. He pressed the button immediately. "An update?" He asked, a spark of hope in his heart.  
"Sir, all Cruisers, Destroyers, Pods, and Vehicles, in general, are checked in and accounted for."

Kylo sat back in his chair, frowning. That didn't make sense. He pressed the button again. "Are you absolutely certain, Captain?"  
"Yes, Commanders. That's what's showing up on our interface. None of the locators or trackers have been hacked or tampered with, Sir."  
Kylo shot up out of his chair and shuddered, gawking at the Console. That meant she didn't leave. She was still here.  
Oh wait. But…  
He pressed the button again. "What about unidentified or unlicensed ships entering our atmosphere?"

She could've been picked up. Which would be worst-case scenario. That meant she was probably with the Resistance in the Illenium System, which was the place they would be aiming to destroy in approximately four days, once the weapon was charged.  
She'd be dead. Incinerated.

But Phasma's voice snapped him out of his reverie. "Nothing has made it onto the base, Sir. Everything is secure."   
His paranoia got the better of him. Phasma could currently be held at gunpoint, being forced to say that. He typed in a code and pressed the button to activate a monitor so he could get a visual on Plasma's location.

She was standing in the control center, looking at the monitors as usual. Everything was fine. Rey hadn't escaped. She truly was still here…somewhere. But what could he do? If she was found she'd be immediately brought to Snoke.

Which was also a problem. He had to find her himself. He pressed the intercom button again. "I need the status on all holding cells."

Phasma coughed on the other line. "All of them?!" She asked, baffled. “There are thousands of – "

"– Did my tone at any point indicate that this was negotiable, Captain?" Kylo snapped.

Phasma cleared her throat. "Of course not, Sir. I'll get it to you as soon as I can."

Kylo had to backtrack though. If he was a jerk to Phasma, it would no doubt get to Hux, and he didn't want to be reprimanded for it by Snoke.

He sighed. "I just need the Status on the cells that have been occupied recently. For example, in the last 24 hours. All the others are inconsequential."

Phasma sighed. "That does help quite a great deal, Sir. Thank you. I'll have it to you as soon as possible."

The intercom went silent.

He sighed with anxiety. So she was still here, but unfindable at the moment. He could try to concentrate and find her energy through the Force, but he didn't really have the patience at the moment and there was a chance she learned how to block her energy signature by now. He could be wasting a lot of time for nothing. This was his best option. Kylo glared at the intercom, concentrating all of his anguish and fury at the damn –

He pressed the button at the sound of a beep.

"Sir, may I ask why it is urgent that I get you this information? Do we have an escaped prisoner? Are we compromised?"

Kylo scowled. "The circumstances are inconsequential."

"I wouldn't be asking…it's just this is a rather unusual request. Is General Hux involved in this procedure? Perhaps if we asked for his assistance, this process would take less – " 

"– Captain, if you're not interested in doing your job without any help, then I can find someone more qualified to replace you who is."

"Technically, my job is training and handling storm troopers, not to be your secretary."

He didn't have time for this. "Yes Hux is informed of the situation," he lied, raising his voice, "And believe me, if you don't do as you're told you won't even be doing that because you'll be too busy writhing on the floor in agony!"

Was that a threat? Yes. Did he care? No. Should he have? Probably.

No fear or cowering, just a cool response. "Understood."

The intercom went quiet again. Ten minutes went by. And the young man groaned with impatience. He suddenly regretted imprisoning so many people. Ren rubbed his temples, trying to coax an impending headache to dissolve and cease. This was going to take a while.

~.~

Rey moaned in pain, her back and shoulder stiff from laying on her side for so long. But then her heart raced and she jolted up when Rey realized she had fallen asleep. "No," she couldn't help but vocalize.

Her eyes darted around the room. There was no tray of food or a trace of water anywhere. She didn't know how long she'd been out but considering the dryness in her mouth and the crust crumbs that had formed in the corners of her eyes, she assumed it could've been at least five hours.

For the first time, she allowed her eyes to wander upwards, to the corners of the room. Her other cell had surveillance, cameras in the corners, ventilation…but this room didn't have anything.

Why were there no cameras? What if the occupant was planning an escape or damaging the cell? Wouldn't they care? Now she started to panic.

Because now she knew why she was here. She wasn't a regular prisoner, that was for certain. Rey was a force user who refused to join them. Which meant she was not only dangerous, but useless to them. She pounded the walls with fury when the realization dawned on her slowly and painfully. They had no intention of feeding her.

They put her in a door-less cell for a reason. She had been dumped. To be forgotten. They were killing her in the only way they could. By starving her.

She started to hyperventilate, her body shivering with the adrenaline that her panicking was causing. This was bad. This was very very bad.  
She remembered all too well the sensation of being hungry.  
Very very hungry. And worse. Being thirsty.

She cried outwardly at the thought. The thirst would kill her first. No. There had to be something. Every object, ship or cell, had a weakness.  
She took a different tactic. All she'd been paying attention to were the walls around her.

But the floor beneath her…She got down on all fours, crawling and exploring the space. Oddly, there were small, circular holes about a hands' width apart from each other. Rey licked her finger and pressed one to one of the holes. Was it for air? She didn't feel a draft of any kind. She grimaced, regretful for wasting any kind of moisture. She stuck a finger in and clawed with her nail, trying to pry up a piece of the floor.

But the floor wasn't made of panels, it was as smooth and seamless as the walls. She sighed, wiping sweat from her forehead.

This was stupid. She was wasting water and energy by panicking and fumbling around like this.

Calm down, she thought to herself. What's next? Below and around didn't work. What about up?  
She looked directly above her, and finally, she found it. There was a round indentation in the ceiling, enough for one person to fit through.  
A porthole. A door.

"So that's how they did it," she mumbled to herself. "They dropped me down into this place."  
She knew at the start this would be futile. But she couldn't help it. It was human instinct. She leaped for the circular indentation. The echo of what she knew in her heart was a door.

But it was useless. Her height was short, to begin with, and the ceiling was several heads above her.  
There was no way to reach it. But she held onto this small beacon of hope, looming above her.

"There's a way," she said out loud, to assure herself. "There's always a way." Her eyes were now fixed on the ceiling, pooling with determination.

There was a way. She just hadn't found it yet.

~.~

Kylo was startled from sleep at the repetitive beeping of the communication intercom. He pressed the button. "Report?" he said, his voice hoarse from slumber. "How long has it been since I requested this information?" But his voice lacked malice or annoyance, he just genuinely didn't know.

"Sir, it's been six hours. I apologize, it's just that's how long it took me to look check all of the surveillance monitors."

Kylo waved his hand to shut her up, even though she couldn't see him. "What did you find?"

Phasma continued. "There are 342 prisoners in Sector 4XCE, 120 of which have executions scheduled at some point for tomorrow. All 342 prisoners are in their cells and accounted for." Her voice was chipper and cheerful, like the prospect delighted her.

Kylo rolled his eyes. "Yes, yes, I just need you to inform me of any irregularities."

Phasma scoffed on the intercom. "Very well," she said, an obvious undertone of irritation present.

On some level, Kylo could understand searching through 6 hours' worth of papers and data to be an unbearably tedious task that Phasma obviously wanted to due credit for doing, especially since it's technically not in her job description.

But he just didn't care. He needed Rey beyond what words could describe. 

She’s not safe here anymore, Luke's words echoed in his head.

NOOOO!!!!! He cried, sobbing and screaming for her. He gritted his teeth, fighting the rest of the memory from surfacing.

Kylo needed to find her. She was his focal point and without her, his world would continue to spin and spiral out of control.

"There was a heat signature in cell 2718 that is no longer present. It appears someone typed in the release code from the inside. But that should've been impossible, since that holding cell is equipped with a metal stretcher containing built-in handcuffs, so unless the prisoner was to be set loose, and somehow knew the code – "

Kylo gasped softly, undetectable from the intercom. That must've been how she escaped, he thought. She paid attention to him as he typed in the code to exit.

So it was his own fault she was set loose.  
His heart sank at the realization she'd taken her first chance to escape. From this place.

From him. It stung.

Phasma continued. "There were two heat signatures at seventeen hundred hours. One typed in the code then exited at 17:36, leaving one in the holding cell. Then two minutes later, it was entered in again, also from the inside, and now there is no heat signature present. There also appears to be heavy damage alerts on our interface of the equipment and surroundings of the inside of cell 2718. Shall I pull up the surveillance footage from that period of time?

Kylo flushed instantly with color. "No," was his immediate, unthought-out response. He cleared his throat and crossed his legs with nervousness. He knew what would be on the surveillance tapes.

Her big brown eyes came up in his mind, how it felt to touch her face, hear her ragged breathing. And then his…tantrum.

"That cell I already know the status of," he said, immediately needing to get off the subject. "Anything else?" he prompted.

"Yes, oddly enough," she began. "In Hux's jurisdiction there is an FLDT cell that has a heat signature inside but the cell was not checked out via standard protocol. And as far as I know, I never received any orders from General Hux for a prisoner to occupy one of his FLDTs."

No, his heart dropped to his stomach. FLDT?

He couldn't help it. His voice raised to almost a yell. "Are there any scheduled fillings for that cell?!" He asked frantically.  
Phasma's cool reply were knives to his heart. "As a matter of fact, yes. There is a filling and a cleanup scheduled for 30 minutes from now."

"NO!" Ren screamed. "Cancel it! Override the system and shut down the filling for that holding cell!"

"It's automated, Sir. A program has to be launched to override the filling, and it must be done in advance. It usually takes two hours. I'm afraid even if I started up the program now – "

"– Phasma, do whatever it takes to cancel that filling. This is a direct order and if you fail I’ll run you through," he said through gritted teeth.  
He put his boots back on, slipped on his gloves, and slid his saber into the holster on his side, bolting from his chambers, not bothering with the mask.

Hux's jurisdiction was on the opposite side of the base. But it didn't matter. He bolted down the halls to the hanger at lightning speed, practically flying down the stairs to slide into the driver's seat of his TIE, the Silencer.

He didn't even bother with a seat belt as he switched on the toggles and started up the ship's drive.

Memories came flooding back. The way she curled against him when she was asleep. The smell of her hair as a child. Like sunshine and the sea. He looked out of his visor with determination and fury. "I'm not gonna lose you again," he muttered to himself. "Not this time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I began writing this, I had a theory that Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) and Rey had trained together with Luke as children, and that was why it was so imperative that Kylo Ren find Rey. Because in Force Awakens, he hunted her down and eventually immobilized her in the forest on Takodana, all way before he knew she had seen the map he was looking for. In other words, he wanted to find her and get her anyway, regardless of his obligations to Supreme Leader Snoke. The fact she'd seen the map that BB8 had was just an added bonus, but it was never the initial reason he went looking for her. So then it begged the question, why did he care about her so much? And about locating her? Now, of course, we've all seen Last Jedi and we know the theory he'd known her from training with Luke is false. That theory was shot down faster than the Dreadnought in TLJ (then again you could say that about literally anything else.) But I digress. Since it's a theory Is till enjoy, I've decided to stick with my current course and take creative liberty to give you guys an interesting story. Especially since I see fanfics about Ben and Rey arguing about whether Apple or Microsoft is better in cafés in Paris. (Don't ask. You come across the weirdest shit at 2am.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world was on fire and no one could save me but you  
> it's strange what desire will make foolish people do  
> I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you  
> And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you
> 
> -Wicked Game, Ursine Vulpine feat. Annaca

As he made his way to the other side of the Base, through the snowy landscape, Kylo did the only thing he could think of.  
He reached out to her.

~.~

Rey concentrated the best she could. Sitting cross-legged on the floor, her eyes closed, reaching with her mind.  
Her only option was to rise to the top of the cell to get to the porthole door.  
If all the legends about the Force and the Jedi were true…She focused on her goal. The need to survive. The instinctive drive to escape and run. She'd risen from the ground only a few inches. But it was working.

She grinned, working not to break her streak. Slowly, she was rising.  
She stretched out her arms, waiting to feel the ceiling. Her fingertips brushed the cold, smooth surface of metal –  
Rey, the voice said, panicked and loud in her mind.  
She gasped.

And fell eight feet onto the hard floor. "Mother of Moons!" she exclaimed, curling up in a ball to absorb the pain.  
His heart leaped out of his chest.

Yes! She hadn't blocked herself from him. Where are you? He asked , parking the Silencer on a landing pad before jumping out.  
He started running in the direction of the Holding Facility.  
But then he froze.

Kylo realized Phasma had never specified which FLDT cell had a heat signature. And come to think of it, there had been no confirmation that the heat signature was from Rey, he'd simply assumed.

No no, don't do this, he thought. Not now. Think positive.

"You know I can hear you," she thought back, a hint of anger and displeasure in her tone.

But Kylo couldn't hold back his face-splitting grin. She was speaking to him. He'd found her. Sort of.

He continued speaking to her with his mind. I'm trying to find you. You're in danger. 

I was in danger the moment you brought me to this damn place, she pointed out.

He sighed. "Describe your surroundings."

"I was so close to breaking out by myself! I would've if you hadn't shattered my concentration."

Kylo groaned. Ugh, she was as stubborn as ever. It was no use. She was going to die.

I CAN STILL HEAR YOU! She shouted, making him clutch his skull in agony.

"Don't YELL at me, I'm trying to HELP you!" He yelled back out loud.

A few stormtroopers stared at him, slowly backing away.

He flushed bright red, continuing to run. "We don't have much time. It looks like you're inside a giant metal fishbowl, right?"  
There was a long pause.

But then she replied. "Yes."

Kylo finally made it. It was an immeasurably large hanger that went on for miles.

The cell entrances were in the floor. But out of the hundreds of thousands of these portholes… Which one?

He growled outwardly, frustrated. "Dammit," he muttered out loud.

"What is it?"

He mentally sent her an image of what he was seeing.

He felt a bristle of energy from her. An emotion.

Fear.

"Oh, I see," she said, her confidence dissipated. "Um…"

Kylo vaguely remembered an excerpt from a briefing he’d received about Starkiller’s cell system. When the architects and engineers built the FLDTs, each porthole door was designed to correspond with a particular entry in the floor. Every set of hinges was unique.  
For each door to be attached to the correct prison cell…

"Look around you," Kylo opened his eyes. "Is there a number anywhere?"

"A number? What in the world are you – "

" – L-Like-like a serial number or a jumble of letters. Something, anything, from the manufacturer."

"I - " But the connection cut off.

He lost her energy source.

"No," he whispered out loud.

It was too quick. She couldn't be dead yet.

"Rey!" He yelled out loud.

And then there was nothing but screams.

~.~

It was a strange sensation this time. Having him in her head. But instead of him going through her cupboards and drawers, he was sitting in her living room, visiting.

In a manner of speaking.

"Look around you," his voice echoed in her head. "Is there a number anywhere?"

"A number?" she mumbled out loud. But there was nothing. She'd spent the last hour or so scoping every inch of the place and she saw nothing. "What in the world are you – GAAH!"

She jumped at the sound of rushing water. But where was it coming from?

Suddenly her feet were wet. She looked down.

And then Rey started breathing hard and screaming. "NOOOO!" Tears were flowing freely now. The holes were spraying water into her cell.   
Every last one. And it was pooling at her feet. Fast. "No no no," she whimpered, hugging herself.

She couldn't do this. Of all the ways they chose to kill her…

"REY!" The cry came through.

She whined outwardly but threw a hand over her mouth to stop herself. "There's water," she cried, unable to keep the panic out of her voice,   
even in her own mind.

"I know, I know. Look for a number."

"Why the bloody hell do you give a damn about some stupid – "

"Look up at the door!" He cut her off.

She tore her eyes from the floor to look up. She squinted, trying to see from the bottom of her cell. "There um," she said, her voice hoarse. "T-t-there is a n-number but I can't see it. It's too far away."

"Can you at least tell me what the first number is in the sequence?" She was sensing panic in his voice too.  
She tried.

But it was just too damn far. She took a deep breath, calming herself down. "I'm gonna need you to stay out of my head for a minute," she said, glaring at the door, wiping her eyes.

There was radio silence.

She tried again. What she was doing before.

Rey needed to escape. She needed to reach the door. It was the only way she was going to live. Slowly, gradually, her body began to rise.  
Her body was rod straight, gradually rising to the top of the cell. The long number was coming into focus. It had been finely engraved into the hanger door, probably by a laser. But she finally saw it. And then she fell. There was a loud crash and a splash as she fell this time. 

"UUGHH!" She cried as the wind was knocked out of her.

The water level was up to her waist. And her energy was completely spent as she gasped for air, her knees shaking. "I saw it," she rasped. "4QSW33."

"I'm coming," his tone had changed from being panicked and stressed to determined and focused.

The rushing water was up to her breasts. "I c-can't s-swim," she whispered, unable to stop herself from crying.

"Yes you can," his calm response was unnerving.

"I'm from a desert planet, I don't know how to – "

"– You do know how, you just…don't remember."

"No I don't!" She full on bawling now. "I never learned how – "

"Rey, listen to me. I'm coming."  
It was up to her neck. "P-p-pplease…" her voice was weak and defeated.

"I'm almost there. All you have to do is kick your feet and move your arms."

"I never learned how," she said.

"Let me inside your mind," he demanded.

Rey was only speaking telepathically now, since her mouth was underwater. "You are in my mind," she said softly.

"You know what I mean," he insisted. "Do it. Now."

She didn't have a choice.

She yielded, allowing the sensation of his energy to flow over her head, behind her ears, and down her neck.

Then there was an image. She was underwater. But she was young. She swam and shimmied through the water like she'd been born in it. Dappled sunlight tickled the light's surface, casting a yellowish glow on the swimming child.

She held hands with a boy. A boy with dark hair, much older than her. Rey's eyes widened, tears spilling with shock as the water rose to above her nose.  
She knew how to swim because he'd taught her how.  
Rey disappeared under the surface, pumping her arms under the water and swimming in circles, brushing her fingertips against the cold metal of her pool.  
The young woman kicked off her boots so she could feel the cool water on her bare feet. She wasn't imprisoned anymore. It felt more like she'd been freed. She felt the sand from Jakku leaving her hair as it wound itself in tendrils around her neck, let loose from its ties. She remembered. She'd been able to hold her breath for longer than him.

Rey joined her hands above her head, and curved her hips through the water until she broke the surface. The water was so high now she could touch the porthole. She pressed on it from the inside, but it wasn't budging.

There was no keypad, or handle or knob to turn or pull. The only way out was from outside.

A banging vibrated from the other side. "REY!"

She could hear his voice now. "I'm here!" She called back.  
His heart stopped at the muffled sound of her voice coupled with the splashing water. His hands were shaking. He ripped off the glove in his right hand with his teeth, tossing it aside. He began typing in a code on the keypad.

The Red letters flashed at him, grumpy and rude. DENIED.

"Damn Hux!" He exclaimed.

The codes for his Sector were different.

He tried pressing his hand to the Identification Scanner, but once again, DENIED flashed at him.

It couldn't end like this.

He was so close.  
Again. Only to lose her? No. He pulled out his lightsaber. "Get back!" He yelled, pressing the button on the hilt to ignite it.

There was a pause. "O-okay," she said.

~.~

"Damn Hux!" She heard him yell from the other side.  
That couldn't be good.

"GAH!" She groaned as the water pushed her up against the ceiling.  
And she couldn't keep kicking for much longer. Her legs were burning, aching to stop.  
Her face was pressed against the ceiling her palms flat.

"Get back!" He yelled. She heard the hum and buzz of a lightsaber.

Her eyes widened, realizing what he was going to do. "Okay!" She shouted. She moved away from the porthole. Suddenly in the darkness, there was a blinding red light starting to melt through the metal.

The smoke and scent of burning metal filled her nose and lungs, making it harder to breathe. "Please hurry," she said with her mind, feeling herself starting to blackout. She took a deep breath and went back underwater to escape the smoke. The saber was starting to touch the surface of the water, heating it up and forming bubbles and steam. She watched as he slowly started to melt and corrode away the metal in a circle formation. After her lungs started to burn she swam back up. But that was it. Her hands touched the ceiling. The FLDT cell was filled to the brim. She banged helplessly against the metal, pushing aimlessly, to no avail.  
She needed to breathe. Now.

Her legs stopped. Her vision was starting to fade. Her lungs filled with water as she sank lower into the darkness.

"No! Rey hold on! Don't go! Stay with me!" His voice was growing quieter and quieter in her mind. "REY!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, I can't get these memories out of my mind  
> And some kind of madness has started to evolve  
> I, I tried so hard to let you go  
> But some kind of madness is swallowing me whole, yeah
> 
> -Madness by Muse

Kylo groaned with the effort of dragging his lightsaber through the thick metal. Steam was coming up from the cracks, no doubt due to contact with the cold water from the cell's flooding. He carved at the porthole door, locked and sealed like a vault.

"GRAAAHHH!" He exclaimed, forcing the saber to burn through faster. But then he felt it.

A huge wave of emotion hit him so hard it stopped his heart. Fear. Desperation. She was out of space. Out of air.  
Rey was drowning. "NO!" He exclaimed. "Rey hold on!" He reached out with his heart. Unable to stop himself from sending forth every bit of himself and his power that he could.

"Don't go!" His eyes were misting.

She couldn't leave him. Not like this. Not when he's come so far...He gasped and groaned in agony. He felt everything she was feeling.  
A burning pressure in his lungs, making it hard to breathe.

He felt her frantic heart, the desperate pulsing of her blood, the soreness in her hands from banging against the metal door.  
He could feel her dying. "Stay with me!" He begged, his eyes pooling with tears. His heart was in pieces, his soul broken and shattering as he vocalized his deepest desire.

He kept pushing, the door almost completely cut off.  
"REEEYYY!" Kylo howled with anguish, a guttural, primal sound he'd never known he was capable of making.  
Her energy was fading. What was once a vibrant fire became a warm ember, dulling in brightness with each passing moment.  
She was out of time.

"UUUURRGGHHH!" To hell with it.  
Kylo stood up and stretched an arm towards the floor, flicking up his wrist and curling his fingers inwards.  
With a loud screech of protest, the door was ripped and lifted off its hinges.

He made a flicking motion, waving his arm harshly to his right. The door was thrown to the side in a smoking, contorted clump. Without a second thought he dove in.

The water was relentlessly cold and dark. He couldn't see a thing. So he closed his eyes and felt.  
The force was pulling him to the bottom of the tank.

He felt a pulsing of life, faint and barely perceptible but it was there.

Kylo darted through the water, diving deeper and deeper. He felt around the floor and the walls. A tendril of cloth brushed against his neck.

Without a moment's hesitation, he reached out and encircled his arm around Rey's waist, hugging her to him and kicking up from the bottom to begin the swim back up.

But he had to hurry. She'd always been the better swimmer, even when they were children.  
He was already running out of air.

The water had soaked into his uniform, weighing him down, along with the weight of the girl in his arms.

He gazed up at the opening, and as he swam up he was enveloped in a bright, blinding beacon of light.

With everything he had, he reached out for it, for the surface...for the light.

For the first time in years, he gave into it. It called to him. A warm, enticing and euphoric state of being. In that moment he wanted it more than anything. The light was life, love, joy...air.

The darkness couldn't live without the light. He'd never had a chance.  
He broke through the surface with a gasp, his vision lost for a moment as he momentarily blacked out.

Kylo kneeled, his body shaking from the cold, his breathing irregular, still holding Rey.  
His eyes were fixed on her face, searching for any sign of life as he brushed her hair back with his palms.

But her body was cold. The soft, heart shaped face in front of him betrayed no emotion.

"No," he whispered, cupping her face in his hands. He couldn't accept it.

The dark knight laid her down underneath him, beginning careful presses on her chest. He swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to steady his shaking hands.

Kylo gritted his teeth, tense for the situation to come. He wasn't ready for this. He didn't want it to be like this.

But he just had to save her. He placed his right hand on the side of her face, slightly tilting her chin up.

He closed his eyes, and pressed his lips to hers. He breathed his love and life into her, mentally reaching and grabbing for any strand of consciousness.

He groaned in despair as he pulled away, unable to control his shuddering.

She was so soft. In every way. The pout of her lips called to his soul like a siren. But he was anguished. Her lips were cold. Her whole body was cold. She was a fighter, fighting him within an inch of his life at every turn. That was her essence. The core of who she was.  
But Rey was so frail, now. Too relenting, too limp beneath him.

He kept up the mantra, pressing on her chest, breathing into her lungs until he'd given her every piece of him. The dark, villainous beast sobbed and cried out brokenly. "Please!" He begged through gritted teeth.

His cheeks were red with awkwardness and exertion, about to breathe his final breath until there was a sound.  
Rey's eyes shot open and water gurgled from her mouth. Kylo quickly turned her on her side, his hand on her back, speechless beside her.

"Ugh," Rey moaned, obviously in pain.

He couldn't help but let his shock overwhelm his elation.

She was clinging to him like she did when they were children, as if she needed him as much as he needed her.

He gawked at her hands, clutching his arm, stunned. He was a man of darkness. A creature of the shadows. All he was capable of feeling was hate and anger and fear. And yet this beautiful goddess of light was holding onto him for dear life, as if he were her salvation.

Like he were some life-giving source of good.

The sight took his breath away. His eyes were wide. Scared.  
Scared she'd realize. See the monster he truly was and recoil from him. He blinked. Over and over. But she hadn't disappeared. She was still there. She wasn't a dream.

Her body shook with cold, with the effort of taking air into her lungs again, as if for the first time. He didn't waste another minute.  
He gathered her in his arms, cradling her, pressing her against him to keep her warm.  
Once he was steady on his feet, he began walking out of the Holding Hanger.

~.~

There was nothing.

It was an infinite, dark, and cold nothing.

But there was no pain. No fear.

She was numb. Weightless. Free.

It was so easy to just...cease to be.

It was easier than she thought it'd be.

Why had she fought it so hard? To live? To suffer?

Surely there must have been a reason.

She just...couldn't remember...

But that didn't matter, now. She found peace in the darkness. There was no struggle, no conflict, no doubts. She wasn't at odds with herself, needing to know who she was, who's side she was on...she was just...  
Someone. She wasn't sure what her name had been. But in the darkness she didn't need a name. She didn't need anyone.

Not her parents, not Finn, or Han, or Chewy...not even –  
UUUURRGGHHHH!

The primal groan of anguish was suddenly being pulled back into the light. It was bright and blinding and loud and - It was too much. Too overwhelming.

She wanted to stay in the darkness. There was no pain. She didn't want to be in pain anymore...

She'd been through enough. But the pain was exploding anyway. With a rush, there was pressure on her chest.  
Heat and life on her lips and in her heart. Everything crashed at her until -

She was coughing up water. So much water. Still desperate to breathe. She couldn't stop hacking.

Someone nudged her to her side so she wouldn't drown again.

Drown in the water? The excruciating agony? She couldn't tell anymore.

Everything was too bright. Too loud, too much.

Someone was touching her.

The sensation was so familiar, ingrained into every cell in her body. Her soul knew this person.

This touch. She held onto the person's arms. Her head was spinning, she was blind and dead and alive all at once, not sure which one to wish for.

This person's heat was her anchor. The only thing keeping her from spinning back into the darkness. Then she remembered.

The boy. The boy who held her hand. He was why she couldn't have stayed in the darkness.

The boy needed her. She didn't know how she knew this, but she did. Tears fell from her eyes.

What happened to that little boy?

She had to help him.

She clung tighter, trying to force her vision to clear so she could speak. But just as she was about to, she was being lifted and carried, her nose pressed into darkness and warmth. She fought it though. The overwhelming need to sleep, the call to the dark.  
She wanted it. So much. But she needed to stay awake. So she could find that boy. The boy who needed her.

Her face was in someone's neck.

This scent...

She whimpered.  
The boy's name broke the surface of her mind, leaving a gash in her heart.

"Ben," she whined, tears falling from her eyes.

The body she laid against stiffened, as if the word was a knife, twisted and sunk in deep.

"Ben," she whimpered, and the darkness claimed her once more.

~.~

She was alive, fading in and out of consciousness.

But her heartbeat strong and steady against his, so that was good enough for him. He felt the darkness swirling around her like it was hungry and closing in on prey. Kylo wanted her on his side. That was the end goal. But he didn't want her to turn and not still be herself. 

He was a little disappointed. He hadn't expected her to turn so easily. She squirmed against him and moaned quietly. "Ben," her soft voice pined.

He froze. His soul shattered like glass. That name...

With that one, small word, she'd stripped away every layer of skin and bone and self that made him who he was.

With one word, he was that scared, lonely, broken boy again.

He shuddered and ground his teeth, holding back tears.

No. That boy was dead. He could never be that boy again.

"Ben," she said again, and continued to mumble it as if calling to him.

"Stop," he whispered.

With every whisper of his name she uttered, she drove him closer to madness. Every syllable was a knife in his heart.

"Ben," she whispered desperately.

She was the only one who loved that little boy.

Ben.

But she couldn't love him anymore.

He didn't exist.

"Ben..." She whispered. Gentle. Soft. Coaxing.

Like a siren calling to him to join her in the depths.

He couldn't take it anymore.

Kylo Ren waved his hand over her head.

She instantly slumped against him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, holding her tighter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My hands are searching for you  
> My arms are outstretched towards you  
> I feel you on my fingertips  
> My tongue dances behind my lips for you  
> This fire rising through my being  
> Burning, I'm not used to seeing you  
> I'm I'm alive, I'm I'm alive  
> I can feel you all around me  
> Thickening the air I'm breathing  
> Holding on to what I'm feeling  
> Savoring this heart that's healing
> 
> -All Around Me By Flyleaf

Rey awoke to the sensation of being on a cloud. She curled and uncurled her fists experimentally. She realized the cloud was made of fabric. The softest material she'd ever felt in her life. She was wearing pants that flared at the ankles, made of the same cloth. And a dress top, flowy with soft, delicate ribbons for straps. 

She opened her eyes. Rey rubbed the material of her shirt between her fingertips. It was the darkest ebony color she'd ever seen, with delicate crimson lines embroidered so finely that it shimmered in the light. Then there was a sharp pain coming from her torso.  
She needed to eat. Desperately. She jolted out of...Bed. 

It was a bed. 

She cleared her throat and flushed with color, her eyes darting around the room.  
She was in a bedroom. But...whose? 

There was a screen and a console, beeping red lights over a door. An exit? 

She walked up to the first one and reached a hand out. The door slid open to reveal a closet. She blinked in surprise, not expecting this. She really wasn't in a cell, for the first time in three days. Inside the closet were rows and rows of cloaks, cowls, suits and robes in gray and black, and a few white shirts. 

Rey blushed, realizing she was probably in... his room. She immediately felt her arms and stomach, as if expecting to be in pain or... worse. But she felt fine. Her throat was sore and her stomach was periodically giving cries of outrage, but he hadn't harmed her. So why was she in his room? 

But back to the task at hand. She ignored the ache in her legs and feet, screaming at her in protest as she crouched on the floor.  
Rey crouch-crawled to the other door, experimentally pushing on it.  
She fell onto the ground with an oomph.  
The door was motion-detecting and immediately closed behind her. The second she stood up her senses were flooding with the most amazing smell.  
Someone was cooking. The girl crawled along the wall again, so silent she could've given a bounty hunter a run for his money. 

She imagined she had a window of eight seconds to see food, grab something and bolt down the hallway to try and...  
And...  
Her face grew pensive. Do what? Escape? She was in night clothes for crying out loud. What was she supposed to do?  
And the last time she tried to run away...Then it all came flooding back to her. The water. The flashback. The boy who held her hand. 

Ben. 

She shook her head. 

No. She needed food now. That was objective number one. 

There was an open entryway. She peered into it. There were knives on the table.  
Weapons. She kneeled down on the ground, and quickly grabbed one from her position on the ground. 

She took a deep breath. Now or never, she thought. 

Rey jumped up from behind the counter, pointing the knife out in front of her, in position to fight.  
She was stunned to see Kylo Ren.  
...In nightclothes.  
Black fitted soft pants with an ebony silk robe tied around his waist.  
Holding a spatula. 

She immediately blushed, completely embarrassed. 

Kylo flushed with color as well, quickly breaking eye contact. "I was..." He stirred the food around nervously, "going to bring it to you," he said gently. She resolved to put the knife down. She sighed, running her hand through her hair. 

Which was down, and had dried in waves. "Sit," he said shyly, gesturing a hand to the barstool. It scooted across the floor in her direction with a flourish of his hand. 

Rey hesitantly slid into the chair, tapping her fingers on the table's surface. "You...cook?" She asked, unable to look at him. 

He glared at the frying pan. "No, I don't," he said, in a tone indicating he was less than pleased. 

Rey swallowed, confused. "Oh," was all she thought of to say. 

Ren rolled his shoulders and stirred something in a pot with a spoon. "If I poison you, I swear it was accidental." 

She leaned her arms on the table, crossed in front of her. "So you're not going to kill me?" 

He momentarily froze, like he was dumbfounded by her question. Without warning his lightsaber was out and on, humming and buzzing menacingly. 

And suddenly it shot through the air to point directly at her face. 

Her eyes widened, the red light shining with such anger, the heat burning her face. He wasn't even holding it. But he had total control. His tone was calm and composed. "If I wanted you dead, you would be." And just as quickly, the saber was extinguished and back in his robe pocket. He hadn't even looked up from the frying pan. Like it didn't even happen. 

But then the Knight of Ren blinked and cleared his throat, turning to meet her eyes. "That wasn't a threat," he said, "I was just...joking." The last part he said as if he couldn't believe his own words. 

Rey couldn't help but smile. "By clarifying all the ways you could kill me?" 

He looked away, contemplating her words. "Apparently," he muttered quietly, growing more and more baffled by his behavior. 

It was a joy to watch. 

The scary monster Kylo Ren, in pajamas, proving to be just as inept at talking as he was at cooking. Rey watched, fascinated, as he scooped some of the stir-fried greens and meat onto a plate, and pouring some brothy-soup substance into a small bowl. 

Without a word he placed it in front of her, watching her, as if for approval. As hungry as she was, she was still a tad suspicious. 

He saw the skepticism in his eyes. "I really am trying not to poison you," he urged, turning around to extinguish the cooking fire, wafting away the smoke.  
The energy surrounding him was happy, she noticed. Content. Calm. Like still waters on a pond.  
He seemed a tad jittery and nervous, but not murderous by any means. 

Slightly annoyed, maybe. 

Out of nowhere he sighed, due to the fact she still hadn't touched the food. "There are far more effective ways to kill you that require much less effort." 

Rey raised an eyebrow. "Yes, you've made that quite clear." 

He grunted in acknowledgment but didn't turn towards her as he made himself busy with washing dishes. 

She took this opportunity to study his face. Kylo's eyes were a dark brown color, and his hair was wet. 

Rey felt her own hair.  
The back of it was still damp. That was the moment she understood. "Thank you," she said. 

Kylo smirked at her. "You might want to try it first before you thank me." 

She smiled. "You saved me." 

Rey was surprised to see a sharp grimace overtake his face. "I also endangered you," he retorted. 

She took a sip of the broth, then took several gulps, chugging it down. It was delicious. 

"That has medicine," he said. "Herbs. For your cut." 

A hand went automatically to her forehead, remembering. But she didn't quite understand. "Why?" 

He bit his lip. "Why what?" He asked, like this was a normal conversation between two normal people. 

The weird this is around him, she did feel normal. 

"Why bother? Why didn't you just let me die?" 

He swallowed, avoiding eye contact. "It's complicated," he evaded. 

"Then explain it to me." 

"I tried," he said, a hint of sadness in his tone. "But you don't remember." 

"Why did you want me in the first place?" 

Kylo's tone was all business now, as if he had the mask back on. "Because you've seen the piece of the map we need to find Skywalker. It was imperative that I extract it from you." 

She shook her head. "You didn't just stumble upon me in that forest. You were looking for me. Hunting me. Pursuing me. Why?" 

Kylo flushed, his body suddenly tense. "You had vital information that would aid us in the search for – " 

"– But you didn't know that at first. When you found me. You said...I was the girl. The girl you've heard so much about. You were seeking me out, even before you knew I'd seen the map. I don't understand why." 

He finally made eye contact with her, shrugging. "Our contacts told us the droid was with you," he stated matter of factly. "The droid with the map." 

"That's all?" She asked, unbelieving. 

"I thought you were hungry," he raised an eyebrow in turn, nodding his head at her food.  
She was. 

Rey took several more bites with much enthusiasm, swallowed quickly, and then got back on task. "You said the least we could be was honest to each other." 

The man walked over so they were a foot apart, standing over her. "I've never lied to you." 

"But you're also not telling me everything," she said gently, her eyes filled with curiosity. 

"That makes two of us," he pointed out, once again flipping the situation on her and dodging her questions. 

As they stared at each other, that tension and energy started to build again. 

She felt the crackling in the air, the heat and suspense. 

He shuddered, like he felt it too. 

Don't be afraid, I feel it too. 

But it was more than an attraction or desire. 

She knew him. 

The boy. 

Ben. 

"Ben," she said experimentally, looking him directly in the eyes. 

He flinched, like she’d stung him. 

Before she could stop herself she reached a hand out, letting her fingertips touch the edges of his face. 

He was frozen, lips slightly parted, eyes filled with fear and want. It was the first time she was feeling this. Skin on skin.

With him. 

She brushed her thumb over his lip, as he'd done to her.

He swallowed, a shiver going through him.

She wove the rest of her fingers into his dark hair, gently stroking his scalp. He tensed his jaw and ground his teeth, closing his eyes. She reached out with her heart, to his…

He was feeling pure bliss. Euphoria. A heated desire he was fighting so he didn't take her right then and there. Rey wound a lock of hair around one of her fingers and gently tugged. "Gaah," he let a moan escape before he could stop it. His eyes were clenched tight, as though he were in pain. "Careful," he breathed, his tone indicated he'd immensely enjoyed her little assault. 

She did it again. Harder. 

“Aaaah," he inhaled sharply. Ben threw his head back out of reflex, that one small tug tensing his entire body. His eyes were clenched shut and his jaw was tense as he gritted his teeth. His hands were balled in fists at his sides.

A tear fell from her eye when she realized. He was trying not to fall apart. Rey stretched out her other hands, moving them so they held the back of his head. She leaned in close, looking at his face. As if he felt her gaze, he opened his eyes to meet hers. 

Their faces were an inch apart as she held him in her hands, like he was precious.  
His eyes were so...familiar.

“The boy I saw..." She trailed off, tracing the line of his jaw.

He wasn't listening. He was slowly, hesitantly leaning closer to her face. 

“It was you," she muttered almost unintelligibly.  
His eyes glistened like he was on the cusp of crying.

She’d shattered the spell. 

To her shock, he pulled away and straightened, like she'd slapped him. His eyes were wild. Betrayed. "That boy," he said brokenly, shaking his head, "you'll never find him."

"Why?" She couldn't help asking, her hand still outstretched to the broken man in front of her. 

His voice shook as he expelled the words through his teeth. "Because I killed him.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Run, baby, run don't ever look back  
> They'll tear us apart if you give them the chance  
> Don't sell your heart don't say we're not meant to be  
> Run, baby, run forever we'll be  
> You and me
> 
> \- Check yes Juliet by We The Kings

In that moment, for the first time, Rey not only saw Kylo's vulnerability, but his youth. There was such a broken, sad look, as if he'd been caught at the helm of his father's ship. Kylo wanted to so badly to prove himself. Not only to match Darth Vader in strength and renown but surpass him. But in all this ambition and vision, was there room for little Ben?

She hoped so.

Before she could respond to his claim however, he once again shut down. Back was the calm, collected Knight of Ren. "After you give us what you need, I'll let you go. But if you don't cooperate, there are people on this base who would make you suffer," he said coldly.

Rey stiffened, shooting him a scowl. "Are you one those people?"

He scowled back. "If you show resistance? Possibly."

Rey stood up out of her chair, her fists tight. "You said you have no intention of harming me."

Kylo averted his eyes. "I don't," he mumbled. "But if the Supreme Leader orders me to – "

" – You'll just do as he says?!" She exclaimed. "What are you, his slave? Do you do everything he tells you to do, even when it's wrong?!"

"The Supreme Leader is never wrong," Kylo said menacingly, conviction laced into his words. "I am his loyal apprentice and I will do what he asks of me without question."

Rey's throat became hot and tight as she held back frustrated tears. She wanted the boy who'd held her hand. The one who taught he how to swim. Ben, who treated her with such tenderness. "That boy is not gone," she declared, making him flinch, "He is right here, and he would never live as someone's servant. He'd never harm an innocent person and he would never kneel to darkness!"

The way Kylo's eyes darkened, she could tell she'd struck a nerve and he'd had enough. "You cannot begin to understand the suffering that brought me here," he growled, his glare enough to melt stars. "The darkness as you call it, that I sought escape from."

Rey couldn't accept this. She shook her head. "While the First Order has you under their thumb, you are a cold malevolence that strikes fear into hearts with free will."

The disgruntled man swallowed, his arms crossed over his chest. "Snoke saved me from becoming that."

Now she really didn't understand. "What are you saying?" She stammered. A feeling of dread was starting to well up in her chest.

Kylo glowered at her. "You know I was one of Luke's padawans."

The girl stared at the floor. "No, I didn't," she insisted.

Kylo laughed bitterly. "Yes, you do. Han Solo told you. I saw it in your mind. You know what Skywalker tried to turn me into. I wasn't allowed to feel anger, or sadness...joy…love…" his eyes flickered to her briefly and then back down. "I wasn't supposed to feel anything. That's what it means to be a Jedi…having no heart at all."

Before Rey could return, four storm troopers and a red-haired man clad in black burst into the room, immediately marching over to Rey and grabbing her.

"NO!" She exclaimed, kicking and biting, wriggling her torso to make it the most difficult to apprehend her as possible.

Kylo's expression changed from one of despair to rage. "Hux, what are you doing? I'm in the middle of an interrogation!"

The General gave a sinister smirk. "The Supreme Leader has grown impatient. He will interrogate the scavenger himself. We're placing her in a cell while we await his arrival."

Kylo tightened his jaw. "Is the Supreme Leader aware that his most precious source of information would have been wrongfully terminated, if not for my intervention?"

Hux's eye twitched, clearly holding back annoyance of the highest order. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're raving about."

The young Knight of Ren met eye to eye with Hux, staring him down. "She'd been dumped into an FLDT cell, in YOUR SECTOR, left to drown. The Supreme Leader wouldn't have this opportunity if it weren't for – "

"– That wasn't a mistake, Snoke gave that order to me directly."

Kylo's heart dropped. "That's impossible," He griped, but he trembled with fear.

Hux wasn't letting up. "It was clear from the beginning that your pursuit of this scavenger was taking precedence over our true goals. I brought the issue to him, and he agreed the best course of action was to eliminate the source of your distraction."

Kylo's rage was boundless. There was no way Hux was telling the truth. It would be the ultimate betrayal. "Liar," he snapped.

"Make no mistake Ren," Hux snapped, "There will be consequences for your disobedience," Hux said with nonchalance and a calmness that only infuriated Kylo further, "But since she's still alive, despite our best efforts," he jabbed, "she might as well be of use to us."

Rey looked to Kylo with despair.

He was helpless. He couldn't disobey. But everything in his heart was screaming at him to save her from the inevitable. "You can't take her!" Kylo said. "She's wounded, she needs medical attention."

Hux shook his head and waved his hand dismissively. "Believe me, after Master Snoke is through with her, it will be pointless to regard her health in any way." There was a glint in his eye that Kylo instantly recognized. The same look he had right before he was about to feed a live mouse to his pet cat.

She was going to die. Whether it had been in that FLDT cell or in the next few hours, he was going to lose her. All he'd done is delay the inevitable. His eyes met Rey's desperately, his heart pounding. Kylo wasn't sure if she had a block on her mind or not but he had to try anyway. Tell Snoke whatever he wants to know. I'll come for you.

But he saw it in her eyes. Her trust for him was gone. Whether or not the boy Ben was still inside him, one thing had been made clear. She had to find a way off of Starkiller. Her life depended on it.

~.~

Rey was locked into a cell similar to the first one she'd been put. The one where she first saw Kylo's face. But she couldn't think about that now. She had to get out of there. How she felt about the Knight of Ren or what he could've been to her was irrelevant.

The only person with her was General Hux. She got the sense there was bad blood between the two men, although she couldn't pinpoint why. Hux seemed to be the Kylo's main antagonizer, and the source of most of the strife she'd seen.

Rey didn't like the look of this man. The General glared at her as if she were the bane of his existence. Nothing more than a thorn in his side he'd had to live with his entire life. She didn't understand where this instant hatred came from. Could it really be because of her refusal to cooperate? No, Rey felt it was something else. Something personal.

To her shock, he threw Rey's old clothes at her feet. "Change," he said.

Her face instantly paled. It was clear he wasn't going to leave until she did. With a shaky nervousness, she quickly slipped her soft bed shirt over her head, pulled down her silk pajama pants, and began wrapping her linens around herself. She did all of this without breaking eye contact for a second.

One she was done, her cheeks were red, but she still stared back with defiance.

Hux nodded with approval. "It's a shame you can't cooperate. You have nerves of steel. I can see why Ren is so fond of you." He said fond as if it were a curse word.

She ignored him. "Snoke never gave that order, did he?"

Hux smirked, giving a brief nod. "You're smarter than you look."

"Why lie?" She asked, fury building in her chest.

"It is clear Ren holds you in high regard. If the First Order is to thrive, your existence cannot continue."

"Because I'm a distraction?" She recalled.

Hux gave her a look of contempt, taking every opportunity, even with his body language, to belittle her. "You are a pestilence." He looked her up and down with distaste. "A poison that could consume him and destroy everything we've worked for."

Rey tried to read him, even to probe into his mind the way Kylo had done to her, to no avail. His mind was a fortress. But his heart…

There was energy clouding around it. It intensified every time he looked at her, and burned hot whenever she spoke.

She finally had a name for it; Jealousy. Rey didn't understand why it spiraled around him, but she wasn't going to take being talked down to. "Ben's not impressionable. Whatever choices he makes, are his alone."

Rey called Kylo by his old name experimentally, but it elicited an intense reaction in the General. For the first time he showed an emotion openly other than superiority or hatred; horror. His eyes widened, unbelieving. And finally, he was looking at her like he was actually listening.

"WHAT did you just call him?" Hux muttered, clearly appalled.

Rey strutted over to Hux, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Ben."

Hux gasped softly, as if he believed he'd only misheard her, but now came to realize he didn't know Kylo Ren as well as he thought. The dark energy around his heart tightened.

That was the moment she realized. "You love him," she said.

Hux's expression suddenly went blank. Without a word, he threw her into the interrogation chair in the middle of the cell and clicked the handcuffs shut with the press of a button.

Rey was surprised to have discovered this fact in so little time. "I'll make sure to tell Snoke when he's interrogating me," she said sweetly, batting her eyes.

Hux laughed softly, a dark and sadistic sound. "You still don't get it, do you?" he asked.

She glared at him from her restraints, writhing to get out of them but to no avail.

The General turned around to exit the cell, his hands behind his back and said, "He's not coming."


	8. Chapter 8

The Stormtrooper stood with his back to Rey, guarding the exit to her cell.

She couldn't lay on this interrogation table forever. Who knows what that General had in mind to do with her? If it weren't for Kylo, after all…

The scavenger girl blushed as she realized what he must have gone through to save her. Diving into those murky depths to pull her body to the surface, bringing her back to consciousness with his own life and breath…

Her cheeks flushed red and she gritted her teeth. She had to push these thoughts aside. She hadn't been put here for contemplation, she was going to be executed.

She'd tried to open the cuffs with her mind, but to no avail. And even if she'd managed to get out of them, that didn't solve the problem of the guard. He'd just wrangle her and chain her back up again, or worse.

She'd been hearing his thoughts for the past hour. His name was FN-1824, and he'd been having a bad week. He was covering for another coworker who was supposed to come in but died on a mission. He was tired, and sore and grumpy.

Then it hit her. Reading this man's thoughts was lightyears easier than reading Kylo Ren's. She wasn't even facing the Stormtrooper, yet she could hear his thoughts as clearly as if they were her own.

Perhaps she could use this.

When Kylo had tried to intercept her mind, she'd been able to fight back. Perhaps this meant she had a strong mind. And because this person didn't have a wall around their thoughts, maybe it meant he had a weak one. Maybe weak minds were…impressionable.

"You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open," she tried hesitantly.

There was a silence.

"What did you say?"

Oh no, it doesn't seem to be working, she thought, but she had to try again. She didn't have another choice. "You will remove these restraints, and leave this cell with the door open," she repeated. Her heart raced, the ends of her hair stuck to her neck as he briskly walked away from his post to face her. He clutched his gun, as if to threaten her. "I'll tighten those restraints," he spat," Scavenger Scum."

~.~

Kylo Ren put his helmet back on and was stomping through the hallways, trying to hide his emotions. They couldn't kill her. They just couldn't. No one else understood his pain, like she did. No one had held his face in their hands like he was a fragile seashell and made him lose himself from the slightest touch. No one had ever spurred him on and inflicted desire in him so strongly.

He had to convince Snoke to keep her alive. He just had to. She was a force user, yes, but he could train her. They could rule and fight together. She'd overcome his mind probe. She was powerful enough, she just needed guidance. His heart and mind frantically searched the passageways and rooms for her essence. Please stay, he begged all the way, not bothering to try masking his heart to her. "The boy is gone, but I am here and I need you."

~.~

Her eyes widened with horror. She was crazy. There was no way this could work. And now he was probably going to hurt her. But no. Now he was looking at her face.

She got him now. I know what to do, she thought to herself. And took a deep, calming breath, then said in a gentle but firm tone, "You will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open."

She kept concentrating, this time focusing on her intent. Envisioning him popping open her cuffs, walking over to the cell exit, pressing the unlock button on the door and leaving her behind.

This time he straightened his shoulders, and his grip on his blaster relaxed. His voice was monotone and thoughtless. "I will remove these restraints and leave this cell with the door open."

FN-1824 reached over to a lever and released her from the shackles. They popped open with a loud click. She couldn't believe it. He started to walk away from her, but then she had a thought.

The last time she'd escaped her cell, she'd been put down by a Stormtrooper because she was unarmed.

"And you'll drop your weapon?" She asked, unsure.

"Annnd I'll drop my weapon," he said, and with a loud clunk she heard his blaster hit the floor.

The blood in her body pulsed with hope and possibility as she scrambled out of her cell and grabbed the gun.

But the moment her foot made contact with the hallway floor, his thoughts hit her like a dreadnought through lightspeed.

Please stay, his voice was broken and panicked. The boy is gone but I am here and I need you.

She saw what he wanted. Intimate embraces in his chamber, where they whispered the darkest of their secrets in the night. Visiting new worlds, uniting the galaxy, hand in hand. He wanted to be her lover, her teacher. Her partner.

She was frozen.

Rey shuddered and gasped, at the realization that if she said yes, and pursued these things…she could be happy. Very happy.

She heard his footsteps echoing down the hall. He was coming. He wanted so desperately to know she was alive. The young girl yearned for him, for his touch, for his voice, the leather smell of his gloves flooding her senses again.

She clutched the blaster like it was her newborn child, and did the only thing she could.

She ran.


	9. Chapter 9

Kylo Ren’s heart was open and searching, desperate for any sort of response from Rey. His heart sank once he got it. He felt her presence. But it was grower fainter. Farther and farther from his own. She was running away. He clenched his jaw, any emotion hidden by his mask. 

So that’s it then. She’s made her decision. Her only concern was getting off of this Base and running back to her little resistance friends. A group of outlaws who at best, had a mere fraction of care for her in regard to his own. No one knew her as he did. No one loved her as he did. He’d loved her since the first time he saw her.

By the grace of your training, I will not be seduced.  
It was the first outright lie he’d told Snoke. His caring mentor and forgiving master. Yet there had been no repercussions. This was valuable information. For the longest time, Kylo believed he was incapable of lying to Snoke. But this small fib proved that Snoke didn’t know every single thing going through his mind, as he claimed. Which meant…there was a small chance that he could save Rey from his wrath. 

A stormtrooper startled him from his thoughts. “Sir, sensors triggered in hanger 718. We’re searching the area.”  
His heart pounded. Above all, no matter what she thought of him, he had to get to her before Hux did. “She’s just beginning to test her powers,” he responded. “The longer it takes to find her, the more dangerous she becomes.” There. Maybe that would instill some urgency in these slackers.   
The stormtrooper nodded, immediately marching off to alert the rest of the squadron. 

~.~

Rey adapted the mentality she’d had on Jakku; She was in this alone. It was big talk, assuming that the resistance would come to rescue her. After running around and dodging leagues of stormtroopers, she knew that was naïve. Starkiller Base was huge, far larger than any Star Destroyer she’d climbed around in and stripped for parts. An insane maze of hallways and chasms. Even if they did come to rescue her, they’d never find her. Kylo himself barely found her FLDT cell and he knew the layout of the base, probably by heart since he helped design it. On top of all that, they’d had a force connection. Which she was doing her best to shut off. 

But should she be? For all she knew, he was all she had. Whatever he was. It was clear he cared for her. But he wanted to turn her to the dark side. I could turn him to the light, she thought optimistically. He wasn’t beyond hope. He was capable of gentility and love and care. He’d saved her life. 

Ben…the boy she’d known as a child…he couldn’t be gone. I’ll find him, she decided. I’ll find him and ask him to come with me.

Run, the thought entered her mind. But it wasn’t hers. 

She gasped, a jolt running through her. She didn’t answer. 

Please listen if you can hear me. Soon I’ll have no choice but to lock down all the hangers. Everyone knows you’ve escaped your cell. Find a ship and run. 

His words held nothing but truth and concern. She nodded. “Where’s the nearest docking bay?” She asked aloud.

He responded telepathically. “Hanger 12. In Quadrant 3.”

Rey shuddered. “I’m in 706. It’ll take me hours to – “

“– I can buy you some time, but my soldiers are already getting suspicious. If I don’t give the order to put the base on lockdown, they’ll figure out my true intentions.”

“Why are you helping me?” Rey asked aloud, not caring if she was heard or not.

His response was disgruntled. “You really need to stop asking me that,” he snapped. 

“Still avoiding questions, I see,” she said back. But there was no time for banter. She darted down the next hallway, letting this indescribable intuition guide her.

~.~

Turn him? Turn him?! What was wrong with her? Even if he wanted to, it wasn’t that simple. With all the suffering he’d caused, the blood he’d shed…there was no way he could go back to his family. No. He was his own man now. And his mind was set. Rey had dominion over his heart but Snoke owned his soul. 

As he made a few strides over a hanger bridge, a platoon of stormtroopers briskly marched beneath him, on their way to search the next hanger. His heart skipped a beat. 

It’s a miracle they haven’t found her yet, the thought to himself. 

An Admiral was crossing paths with, seemingly relieved to see him. “Sir, she was not found in Hanger 718. But all troops are on alert.”  
He didn’t have a choice. This particular Admiral was under Hux’s thumb. He was out of time.   
“I’m so sorry, Rey,” he sent to her before finally giving the order. “Put every hangar on lockdown. She’s going to try and steal a ship to esca – “  
He stood to attention, the presence of a familiar energy suddenly making itself known.   
It was impossible. But somehow, he was here. “Han Solo,” he muttered softly.   
Any thoughts of Rey, any shred of care for her, any concern or her location and her wellbeing, had dissipated. Snoke had predicted this. That he would not have to seek out his final challenge, but rather it would come to face him, head-on.   
It was time. Time for his final test.

~.~

Rey felt a shift in Kylo’s energy. It was unexplainable. Then she stopped feeling him entirely. But she’d gotten his last message. She did her best to stay hidden from sight, lurking past each hall, her blaster raised. Rey waited for two stormtroopers to jog by before she turned the corner. She felt a blast of cold breeze. Freezing, actually.   
This was a good sign. It meant there was some sort of door open. Maybe she was close to being outside. She jogged forward and there it was. 

Hanger 12. 

But it was monstrously big. And crawling with stormtroopers. All the TIEs were docked so far below her feet it would be impossible to try and commandeer one without being noticed. Her heart raced as she heard voices. 

“Have you checked out the new T-17s?”

She glanced to her right and saw them; Two stormtrooper guards. And right there was the exit. An icy, snowy wilderness of mountains and ice. I almost miss sand, she thought as a chill ran through her. 

She gasped, careful to avoid the source of the voices. 

“The T-17s as far as I can tell are a great improvement.”

“Yeah, that’s what they tell you,” the other stormtrooper replied, “But believe me, they don’t hold up.”

She stared in shock. How in the world am I going to get out of here? She thought, her heart growing panicked. She felt again for Kylo’s energy but was once more met with radio silence. 

“They don’t?”

“No.”

She whipped her head around, hearing more footsteps coming from behind her. She had to hide. Now. Rey frantically searched her surroundings, then was finally struck with a temporary solution. She flung the strap of her blaster around herself and ducked down, beginning to climb the walls.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is your time to pay  
> This is your judgment day  
> We made a sacrifice  
> And now we get to take your life  
> We shoot without a gun  
> We'll take on anyone  
> It's really nothing new  
> It's just a thing we like to do  
> You better get ready to die  
> You better get ready to kill  
> You better get ready to run  
> 'Cause here we come  
> You better get ready to die  
> Your life is over now  
> Your life is running out  
> When your time is at an end  
> Then it's time to kill again  
> We cut without a knife  
> We live in black and white  
> You're just a parasite  
> Now close your eyes and say good-night
> 
> \- Get Ready to Die by Andrew WK

Han stepped forward, even closer. "That's what Snoke wants you to believe," he said gently.

Kylo Ren felt a pang in his heart.

No, he thought. It's what he's helping me to realize. He's helping me heal. He's allowing me to grow. To change and grow in the way that I want. Not the way Luke tried to control.

"But it's not true," Han continued, still making his way closer to Kylo. "My son is alive," Han said, firmly and proudly.

It was the part of him he tried to kill. It was the part of him that lost...her. If Ben was alive, that meant he was just as good as dead. He could not live and breathe as himself if Ben Solo still lived.

"No," Kylo said. "The Supreme Leader is wise."

"Snoke is using you for your power," Han said, "When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you."

To Kylo's surprise, he didn't have a retort for that. Lately, he had felt there was a shift in Snoke's handling of him. But he was sure it was because more was expected of him. He was just at the cusp of his training's end. After all.

But…was it really the wisest decision to throw Rey, a force user who could've been a very valuable asset to them, into an FLDT cell to die? And he'd done it without telling Kylo. But he told Hux, of all people. He'd cast Kylo aside, just as Luke had done. Kylo hated to admit it, but there was doubt in his heart.

And Han saw it. But it didn't matter. "It's too late," Kylo said brokenly.

"No, it's not," Han insisted and suddenly he wasn't Han Solo anymore. He was just Ben's father. "Leave here with me," he coaxed "Come home. We miss you."

His mother's face made itself known in his mind. Her eyes, so much like his own. The crows' feet that formed at the corner of her eyes when she smiled at him.

For a moment, he wanted that back more than anything.

"I'm being torn apart," he said brokenly. "I want to be free of this pain."

Han looked to him with sympathy and warmth.

This was it. The moment of truth. "I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it."

He needed to take Han Solo's life. It would be the final nail in Ben Solo's coffin.

And the end of his internal conflict. The end of his despair.

"Will you help me?" he asked, tears flowing from his face.

He ached for the impending relief. The moment his pain would cease to be.

"Yes. Anything," Han said, truly believing he'd pulled his son back from death.

Kylo calmed. All he had to do now was play out his dream.

He was only half aware of his helmet clanging to the floor. He seemed to be outside of himself as he pulled his lightsaber from his side, holding it between them, staring at it like it was a part of himself he was considering throwing away.

He held it out to Han, as if in an offering of peace.

And part of him wanted it to be. The part where Ben Solo still lived.

Han grabbed the middle of it.

Kylo stiffened, suddenly coming to from his reverie.

At that moment, the last shred of light died with the sun.

And so did any part of him that considered sparing Han Solo.

He clicked on the lightsaber and shoved it through Han Solo's chest.

And for a moment, there was utter peace. "Thank you," he said, withdrawing his lightsaber.

But then his heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" He heard Rey cry.

It couldn't be. Rey hadn't been in this dream. She wasn't supposed to see this.

Yet her felt her pain regardless. Washing over him like a tidal wave. Not the gentle ocean waves he'd seen in her mind, but a typhoon of anguish and power just pelting him with energy.

Han put a hand up to Kylo's face, holding him gently.

Just like Rey had done.

The look in his eyes was clear. I love you, my son. I forgive you.

And suddenly Kylo had so much to say and so much to ask his father but then the life left Han's eyes and he fell down the chasm that would haunt Kylo's memories until the end of his days.

The relief he felt was short-lived.

He stared off, in a daze. Realizing that the execution of his father hadn't changed how he felt at all. No…he wasn't still supposed to feel this way. I'm still in pain, he thought, suddenly panicking. I'm worse than before. I still feel everything so intensely. I WANTED MY PAIN TO END.

This was supposed to complete his training as a knight of darkness. And all it did was break him in half.

He felt the pain he'd caused Rey. The pain he'd caused his mother, halfway across the galaxy in the Illenium system. He'd made them suffer so.

It at least finalized one truth.

He could never go home now. He'd caused too much irrevocable damage. His mother would never accept him now.

He was startled from the force swirling around him like a hurricane by a cry of rage from Chewbacca, and a laser bolt shooting in his direction.

Pain loomed in his side, so terribly he fell to his knees.

He looked up to see where it had come from.

His vision began to blur, blaster fire erupted everywhere around him, and he saw blobs of white, his stormtrooper guards falling left and right. There were explosions, detonating from the bottom to the top, causing irreparable damage to his precious Starkiller.

He was fading until his focus fell on two individuals above him on a balcony.

It was Rey, looking at him with horror and despair.

I told you Ben was gone, he sent her telepathically. There was no anger, just resolution, and affirmation in his tone.

But strangely she wasn't alone. She was standing next to a man.

He gritted his teeth. Who the hell is that?! He growled mentally, glaring at the man at her side.

She was so shell-shocked and emotionally destroyed by Han's death that her mind was open to him entirely.

He searched her memories.

She'd found him on Jakku, running through a street market. They'd escaped together on the Millenium Falcon from his very forces. And then he saw the moment they'd shared tenderly on Takodana.

"I'm not with the resistance," he admitted. "I'm not a hero. I'm a stormtrooper."

Kylo stiffened angrily. He betrayed the First Order.

"Like all of them, I was taken from a family I'll never know. And raised to do one thing."

"But my first battle, I made a choice."

And then Kylo knew exactly which stormtrooper it was. FN-2187.

"I wasn't gonna kill for them. So I ran. Right into you. And you looked at me like no one ever had."

This man was a defector. A traitor.

And he had feelings for Rey.

Kylo growled with anger. Rage suddenly fueling him to stand up.

He's dead, Kylo sent to her telepathically. It was a mistake making your friends come for you.

He marched forward angrily, lightsaber in hand.

That was the man who had her affections? A traitor?! An AWOL soldier? He had no honor. He was self-serving. He didn't know the meaning of caring for someone or something greater than himself. He only cared about his own needs.

Kylo Ren's rage was boundless and raw.

He would revel in toying with him.

~.~

Rey heard his thought as crystal clear as if Kylo had growled it into her ear himself.

_He's dead. It was a mistake making your friends come for you. ___

__She'd been a complete and utter fool. Believing in her heart that somehow Ben Solo could be redeemed. Ben Solo truly was dead. All that remained in his place was Kylo Ren. And mask or no mask, he was a monstrous beast._ _

__She ran with Finn through the forest desperately, as fast as they could. Anything to put distance between themselves and the threat of Ren's lightsaber._ _

__Rey suddenly regretted not grabbing Luke's from Maz on Takodana. She'd give anything to have a lightsaber with her now. Even though she was leagues away from him now, there was this painful pit in her stomach, like this wasn't over. Her vision…_ _

__She'd been in a snowy forest, just like this one. Standing down a man in a metal mask with a red lightsaber._ _

__Somehow, she knew the worst was yet to come._ _

__"The Falcon's this way," Finn exclaimed but they both froze where they stood as the snow began to fall in the snowy forest._ _

__A lightsaber hummed into existence, and an aggressive, menacing red glow shined on their faces._ _

__Somehow, standing before them, was Kylo Ren._ _

__He glared at Finn, not making eye contact with Rey. "We're not done yet," he said, standing rod straight despite his injury._ _

__She was suddenly infuriated that he could stand there, challenging Finn to a duel, without even acknowledging the pain he'd caused her. Without mentioning the unspeakable act he'd committed. To his own father. "You're a monster," she said through gritted teeth, forcing him to stop ignoring her._ _

__But he didn't even so much as look in her direction. "It's just us now," he said to Finn. "Han Solo can't save you."_ _

__His rage was very clearly directed at Finn. She felt a fit of throbbing jealousy and need to establish dominance in his energy. She noticed the blood from his wound dripping in the snow._ _

__If she blasted him there, maybe it would take him down. Then Finn and I could escape, she thought._ _

__But as if he'd read her thoughts, he looked up just as she was raising her blaster and suddenly the force pushed her up against a tree._ _

__Her world became blobs of color and sound, and as she fell to the ground, everything ceased and turned to black. The last thing she saw before she succumbed to the darkness was sunlight and turquoise ocean waves, golden sand beneath her._ _


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember the moment   
> You left me alone and  
> broke every promise you ever made  
> I was an ocean, lost in the open  
> Nothing could take the pain away
> 
> So you can throw me to the wolves  
> Tomorrow I will come back   
> Leader of the whole pack   
> Beat me black and blue  
> Every wound will shape me  
> Every scar will build my throne
> 
> \- Throne by Bring Me the Horizon

Rey climbed back up, turning down a corridor to stay out of sight.

When suddenly she ran into three individuals.

She gasped, raising her blaster in defense, as they did the same.

But they lowered their weapons, their hands up in surrender.

She couldn't believe it. Her eyes were wide with shock.

In front of her very eyes were Han, Chewie…

And Finn.

"You alright?" Han asked.

She was still recovering from her disbelief. "Yeah," she said, in a daze.

They came back for me, she thought. Her heart swelled with hope.

"Good, he affirmed. Han walked off to get a look at their position.

"Did he hurt you?" Finn asked.

Despite the fact she was happy to see Finn, she realized she didn't want to share her experiences with Kylo Ren.

They were…personal.

But no. He hadn't hurt her. On the contrary, he'd been…kind.

She snapped out of that thought process, instead proceeding to ask him a question to change the subject. "Finn, what are you doing here?" she asked.

It was then that Rey realized she genuinely wanted to know.

"We came back for you," he said with fervor, his heart on his sleeve.

Chewie let out a groan. It was his idea.

Finn looked to her for guidance. "What'd he say?"

"That it was your idea, she said joyously, immediately enveloping him in an embrace.

For the moment, she didn't think about what he was now. Resistance fighter, stormtrooper, coward, deserter. For now he was just…

Friend.

She wasn't alone. "Thank you," she exclaimed, obvious happiness in her voice.

"How'd you get away?" he whispered.

Rey opened her eyes, and realized her face was flushed with emotion.

It all ran through her mind. The first time she saw Ben's face. Their mysterious connection. When he released her restraints, rescued her from drowning, fed and clothed her, let her hold him in his hands like a broken child. The warmth in his gentle brown eyes. Tortured and pained, but soft. How agonized he looked when guards were taking her away, how hard he fought to help her escape, the way leather tasted on her tongue…

"I can't explain it," she mumbled, the images held tight in her heart. "And you wouldn't believe it," she said.

Finn stiffened in her arms. He knew she was hiding something from him.

Han jarred them both from their reveries. He came up to Finn, pointing scolding. "Escape now. Hug later?" he prompted.

They all ran to the hangar elevator, and to Rey's surprise, Finn started typing in an access code to lower them to ground level.

Then she remembered.

He'd been a stormtrooper, after all.

They started to descend.

~.~

Kylo Ren made his way steadily to Quadrant 4. He'd foreseen this moment in his dreams. He knew exactly where he needed to be, and exactly what he needed to say.

Once he finished this challenge, he could finally, and completely, submerge himself into the dark side of the force. He would no longer feel pain or guilt or sadness or longing. Not for Rey, not for his family, not for the light. He had Darth Vader, his grandfather, and the all-powerful Supreme Leader Snoke on his side. He would channel the strength of both to cut the last tie he had to the Light.

And become…once and for all…

Kylo Ren. 

~.~

They'd finally made it outside.

But their hearts sank as the group made it onto the frozen landscape to see a full-scale war raging the skies.

There were explosions left and right, X-Wings crashing to the ground into clouds of fire and lightning.

"They're in trouble," Han said, his tone crestfallen. "We can't leave," he said.

But what could they do to help? she thought.

Han grinned. "My friend's got a bag full of explosives." He looked back to the hangar from which they'd left. "Let's use 'em."

"We'll split up," Finn suggested. "Rey and I will work the doors and you both plant the explosives."

Han nodded. "Good thinkin, kid. Let's move out."

As they walked back towards the hangar, Rey shivered uncontrollably. This was by far worse than Jakku.

Finn noticed, and without hesitation, took off his jacket to offer to her.

Rey flushed with awkwardness, unsure how to respond. "It looks fine," she said, inspecting it quickly.

"I want you to put it on," Finn clarified.

Rey was surprised to see a slow blush overwhelm his face.

"Why? You don't want it?"

"You're cold," he stated, like giving away your jacket to a cold person was the most common-sense thing in the world.

Rey was still in disbelief. "What do you want for it?" She asked.

Finn laughed. "Nothing. I just don't want you to be cold."

Rey reluctantly accepted it, putting it on. It did make her warmer, but it smelled like blaster oil and crash fumes.

Still…

She hugged it close to her. "Thank you," she said.

~.~

Kylo Ren's sense of calm diminished.

Han Solo was not alone.

He had a bunch of resistance scum running around in his Starkiller Base and it initiated him to the highest degree. As he marched into Hangar 3 he turned slightly to the garrison of stormtroopers around him. "Find them," he said, his tone indicating his impatience.

He wanted this to be a private moment. Simple and clean. And now there were outlaws who'd no doubt retrieved Rey by now, attacking his base with every ounce of firepower they had, and on top of it all, he had to track down these resistance rats all while waiting for Han Solo to show up.

It was no matter. Soon his frustration would dissolve. He'd feel nothing but confidence and he'd become the calm and collected leader he was always meant to be.

He stalked mercilessly in the growing darkness as the Sun in the distance was being killed with each passing minute.

And suddenly he felt it.

Han Solo's presence. He was unbearably close.

It was time to set the stage.

Betraying nothing, not one shred of knowledge or emotion, he casually made his way across a metal bridge, taking his time.

It would happen once he'd reached the middle. Of this, he was certain. He'd dreamed of this moment countless times. Ever since Snoke took him on as an apprentice.

He slowed down as he approached the middle, the beautiful yet terrifying chasm glaring beneath him.

"BEN!" He heard Han Solo cry, and his father's voice echoed through the entire hangar.

Even though he was expecting it, he couldn't help it.

He froze, his heart pounding in his chest.

He hadn't heard his father's voice in so long.

He realized with a pang that he'd missed him.

He didn't hate his father. He loved him.

But it wasn't about whether or not he hated him. He was the last tie he had to Ben Solo, the child Rey so ridiculously insisted still lived.

After a beat, Kylo Ren finally turned around.

"Han Solo," he said, his shoulders back, his hands at strong fists at his sides. "I've been waiting for this day for a long time."

There was no sense in lying. There never was.

Kylo Ren vaguely heard the powering up of a stormtrooper- rifle, and a hangar door opening, letting in the freezing cold air from outside.

But his eyes were fixed on Han Solo.

"Take off that mask," he said, stepping closer. "You don't need it."

It was touching that Han felt the mask was unnecessary, and that he had strength regardless of his position.

But Han Solo could not have been more wrong.

He'd taken his mask off in front of Rey. She'd touched his heart, she'd seen his soul, every facet of his pain, and held him in her soft grasp regardless.

He'd been seduced by the agonizing vixen, and in front of his father, he would just become that boy again. The boy who was afraid, and cast aside. Just like with her.

"What do you think you'll see, if I do?" he asked.

Han Solo remained firm. "The face of my son."

It's time to prove to him that I'm not Ben SOlo anymore, he thought stubbornly. He lifted off his helmet, facing his father head-on. He tried to reign in his emotions. "Your son is gone," he said defiantly. "He was weak and foolish, like his father." His tone was biting and vindictive. "So I destroyed him."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision  
> But only for you  
> But only for you  
> My head is stripped just like a screw that's been tightened too many times  
> When I think of you  
> When I think of you  
> I will shield you from the waves  
> If they find you  
> I will protect you  
> I will protect you  
> Just tell me, tell me, tell me, I  
> I am the only one  
> Even if it's not true  
> Even if it's not true
> 
> \- The Last of the Real Ones by Fall Out Boy

Kylo tried to hit her with the softest force push he could. Her high-pitched scream killed his anger, and despair threatened to take hold of him. Every part of his being flooded with guilt, but he just couldn't afford to fight her. He was incapable of hurting her and he couldn't allow this defector to see him so vulnerable.

Nevertheless, he filled her mind with the island she loved so much, his last love note to her before accepting the truth: After what he'd done, after what she'd seen with her own eyes, he'd never get her back. Every waking moment she had from this point onward would be spent hating him.

Then again if that were the case, maybe she'd turn to the dark side after all.

His attention turned back to the traitor. He had to take Rey out of the ring. He'd just had to. She was a liability to him. He wouldn't have a chance of winning in combat while she was watching him. It was bad enough he was injured. In peak physical condition he'd have the traitor writhing without even lifting a finger. But he found himself at somewhat of a disadvantage.

Or so he thought.

The moment Rey fell in the soft snow, the traitor tossed his blaster and scrambled to her feet, holding him in his arms like she belonged to him.

"Rey," he whimpered hopelessly, shaking her slightly, trying to revive her. "Rey," he said over and over, like her name was his favorite word.

That was the last straw.

_She's not yours, _he projected the thought, and in a display of manly bravado, he couldn't help but swing his light saber around, challenging him. "TRAITOOOOOR!" He exclaimed.__

___Acknowledge me, you scum of the earth. The girl is fine. You have bigger concerns. And stop touching her. ____ _

____He was profoundly jealous. It should be him holding her, comforting her, brushing his thumb against her cheek like he was her sweetheart._ _ _ _

____He glared the traitor down, and to his utter shock and fury, he turned around to face him, ever so defiant, and suddenly unleashed a blue lightsaber._ _ _ _

____He knew, without ever having seen it, which lightsaber that was. It was Anakin's. His grandfather's._ _ _ _

____It belonged to the man he'd built his entire life around just to pay homage and respect to. Darth Vader, born of Anakin Skywalker, was his entire life and love. His sole reason for being. The man and Idol who saved him from his own swirling abyss of despair. The only man who had ever given him hope that his life could be his own._ _ _ _

____And his lightsaber…did not belong in the hands of traitorous, defecting, AWOL scum like FN-2187, a mindless, force-insensitive rat who'd never been trained to hold let alone use such an elegant weapon._ _ _ _

____He'd kill him just for that. "That lightsaber," he began, "It belongs to me!"_ _ _ _

____"Come get it!" the traitor exclaimed, and with a battle cry charged at Ren to fight him._ _ _ _

____What audacity and mediocrity such as the likes of which he'd never seen in a human being. This idiot had charged at Force royalty…with his own family's lightsaber._ _ _ _

____His days were numbered so hopelessly Ren would've let out a laugh if he wasn't so murderously outraged._ _ _ _

____FN-2187 treated his grandfather's saber like it was a stick, bashing it to and fro with both hands. It had so much more potential than that. To treat a weapon is such a way was disrespectful at best, abominable at worst._ _ _ _

____Kylo twirled his lightsaber around one-handed, breaking out his best form and moves. First, to establish who was actually in charge here, and two, to demonstrate how a lightsaber should be used._ _ _ _

____The fact Han Solo had believed even for a second that he would throw it away proved just how foolish his father had been. And proved how little he'd known his own son at all. But it was to be expected from someone who hadn't been strong with the force. He never could've understood._ _ _ _

____Not just anyone could use this precious weapon. And when one did use it, they forged it themselves with a kyber crystal of their choosing and with utter dedication. Kylo had forged his lightsaber with his soul. He and his weapon were one. The bond between them rivaled that of a moon and its stars._ _ _ _

____FN-2187, on the other hand, had no connection to this weapon. No force-powerful ancestry, not even any knowledge of the force and its power._ _ _ _

____He'd been doomed the second he picked it up._ _ _ _

____Kylo found that striking him down was easy. As a matter of fact, it was a nice warm-up for him. Really loosened his wrists._ _ _ _

____He twirled his lightsaber with a flourish, and rolled his shoulders, staring Finn down like he was a target in some great sport, or prey in the hunt. But Kylo wasn't fighting seriously. He was taunting him. Playing with him like a toy. It was just too easy. Not to mention utterly satisfying. It would be a lie to say this wasn't giving him an adrenaline high._ _ _ _

____But then he remembered how he'd touched Rey and his fury was rekindled once more._ _ _ _

____Now he was fighting for real._ _ _ _

____Within minutes he'd spun through the air, a signature trick Anakin had been known for, and he pinned the defector gainst a tree, the two lightsabers locked together in fire and heat._ _ _ _

____They stared each other down, neither one willing to give in or relent at all. But despite Kylo's injury, he was winning the fight._ _ _ _

____Of course, he was. FN-2187 hadn't stood any kind of chance. Who did he think he was, challenging a Sith? A Master of the Knights of Ren?_ _ _ _

____The traitor had never held a lightsaber in his life. He'd picked a fight with the one person who'd held one for as long as he could remember._ _ _ _

____Kylo Ren watched with great satisfaction as the hilt of his saber started to dig deeper and deeper into his opponent's shoulder._ _ _ _

____He let out the most terrible wails and screams of pain._ _ _ _

____It was the least he deserved, having the arrogance and the gall to duel him in the first place._ _ _ _

____He took a slice at the traitor, instead hitting a nearby tree since he'd ducked at the last minute. They swung a couple more times at each other, and to Kylo's shock and outrage, FN-2187 actually landed a blow to his shoulder._ _ _ _

____He growled and groaned with pain._ _ _ _

____That was it. No more games._ _ _ _

____With one fell swoop, he'd knocked the lightsaber out of the traitor's hands and into the snow._ _ _ _

____He did not want to give this scum another chance to assault him._ _ _ _

____For that, he threw a punch right across Finn's face. It was unorthodox, for a Knight of Ren and a force user but he was just flat out pissed._ _ _ _

_____This is what happens when you betray me, _he thought. This is what happens when you try to claim what's mine.__ _ _ _ _

______He needed to understand who was in charge._ _ _ _ _ _

_______I gave you a life. A job. I built the very Base, the very Star killing machine that we are fighting on. My power, strength, and sacrifice all built the First Order, from the Ashes of the Empire and you need to understand just who it is you're dealing with. ____ _ _ _ _ _

________Finally, with one more potentially fatal blow to FN-2187's back, maybe the traitor had finally learned the true gravity of his situation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________FN-2187 collapsed in the snow, out cold. Possibly dead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But he'd done everything he could've done in one moment to insight anger in Kylo. Withholding a family heirloom he had every right to, presuming to have any power over him in any way. And of course, implying he had any claim over the woman who'd haunted his dreams since he was 10._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________In short, this imbecile had had it coming. Now that that was taken care of, he extinguished his lightsaber and reached out for his grandfather's. He called to the force, using it to wedge the lightsaber out of the snow, to fly into the hand of its true owner._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He stared at it intently, and as it lifted from the snow, a sense of triumph filled his chest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________But then the lightsaber came at him much faster than he'd precedented. He had no choice but to duck._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________It whizzed right past him –_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Into the hand of Rey._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He stared at her in awe and shock. She was so beautiful, standing there like an angel, soft and hesitant in the snow, the wind gently playing with the strands of her hair. Kylo gazed at her, drinking her in, but also unsure of what she was going to do next._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________He felt conflicted. On one hand, he was frustrated that he'd been denied the saber. But also felt proud of her. Ever so proud._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________I don't want to hurt you, _he told her telepathically, his eyes pleading.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________But her eyes were on the saber. On her newfound power. And slowly, she got into a fighting stance._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She clicked on the saber._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He gaped in shock. The last thing he wanted to do was fight her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________But he needed that saber._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He hesitantly twirled his lightsaber, never taking his eyes off of her. He'd humor her if she wanted. But this fight could only end one way._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And he would not be the first to strike._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She charged at him with a growl. He met her every move with his own, blocking all of her attacks, but never raising his saber to strike._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He ran behind trees to avoid her attacks, dodging her. Her blows hit trees and rotting piles of wood but they missed him every time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He admired her form in combat and she was doing marvelously, especially for someone who'd never fought in a lightsaber duel before._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________But this did not bode well for him. The longer she fought him, the stronger she'd become. The faster her reflexes, the better a fighter she'd be._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________And in this moment in time, he wouldn't put it past her to try and kill him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He had to end this fight. Fast._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________He started swinging in her direction, with the level of speed that only comes with practice. She was starting to panic, letting out girlish yelps that instantly instilled guilt in him for scaring her. But he wasn't actually trying to hurt her. They were attacks directly to her lightsaber, ones she could easily deflect. He just had to get the message across that it was futile to fight him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________But then she was climbing up the ditches in the forest running away from him entirely, he swiped at the rocks beneath her feet, creating a lot of close calls that would get her to surrender, but she never did. She just kept running._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Please give up, _he tried to coax. He was begging now. _I don't want to fight you! _He exclaimed telepathically, but her mind was completely closed to him now.____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She sliced through a fallen tree and the pieces blocked his path momentarily, but he dodged the split tree trunk and continued forward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________They were both brought back to reality when the ground started to shake. Explosions erupted around them, cracks started to form in the earth and trees were falling over._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________The Base was collapsing from the core._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________We have to stop, _her voice entered his mind, soft and erratic like rain. _The planet is collapsing. We have to go! ______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________We're not done, _he said back, striking again. _There's only one way this ends. ______ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Their sabers were locked together now, and she was on the edge of a cliff._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He applied just enough force to keep her off balance but not enough to push her over the edge._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________He finally had her pinned. She was clearly scared. She was trembling, both from fear and from the cold, and her eyes were shut. She cried out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________Rey was so skilled, but still had so much to learn. But she was amazing. Doing so well in her first fight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________As irritated as he was that she was fighting him in the first place, he marveled at her strength. Her courage. His pride for her efforts was infinite. "You need a teacher," he said, trying to amplify his voice over the crackling of their sabers. "I can show you the ways of the force!" he said. _I want to. _____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He knew in his heart, one way or the other, they were destined to be together. Side by side. Hand in hand. Fighting, loving and learning together. He wanted it more than anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________And he needed an answer. Now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After all you put me through,  
> You think I'd despise you,  
> But in the end I wanna thank you,  
> 'Cause you've made me that much stronger
> 
> \- Fighter by Christina Aguilera

"The force?" Rey asked, and then she remembered the words of Maz Kanata.

She closed her eyes. She breathed in and out, suddenly feeling the energy of it swirling around her, filling her lungs, running through her veins, pulsing through her heart. The life and death of all things, coursing through her, all at once.

When she opened her eyes, she was a different person.

She had the strength to push him back, twirling her saber just as he had.

She was much faster, even managing to get in a few jabs. His wounds were bleeding out, he was losing his vision. And she kept striking at him, again and again.

He suddenly found himself on the floor, booted there from a swift kick to his chest.

She stalked around him, fury burning in her eyes, like a hunter about to kill its prey.

But then as she was about to strike the final blow, a voice entered her mind.

_A Jedi's strength flows from the force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression, the dark side of the force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. ___

__She stood on the precipice of the dark side. She felt it. It beckoned to her, calm and seductive, like before. In the darkness there was peace. No pain. There was nothing._ _

__But she would not fall to Kylo Ren's level. She would not be overcome by the sweet promises whispered to her in the dark._ _

__Before she had more time to think, Kylo was back on his feet, doing his best to fight back. At this point, he was defending himself._ _

__But she pushed his lightsaber down into the snow._ _

__It extinguished._ _

__Then she landed a final strike at his face, swinging in a circular motion, knocking him onto his back._ _

__Rey stood victorious, the glow of her new weapon casting over her body, illuminating her int he darkness like a warrior of Light. Despite everything, despite the fact she was just a scavenger for Jakku, Rey knew this was her first step down the path she was meant to take. Today, the First Order had a new rival. And the force was strong with her._ _

__Before Rey had time to revel in her victory, the earth split in two, separating them with a giant canyon of rock and snow._ _

__She looked across the canyon, seeing him lying in the snow. Defeating him had given her a rush, but surprisingly her heart still tugged at him. Part of her wanted to help him. What if she was really leaving him for dead?_ _

__But she had no time. She ran away, to find Finn in the forest._ _

__By the grace of the force, he still had a chance._ _

__~.~_ _

__When Kylo came to, he found himself in a stretcher, medical droids hovering over him slowly, attending to his wounds, and distributing pain capsules._ _

__But they did nothing for the pain in his heart._ _

__He'd vastly underestimated her. It was his greatest failure. He vowed never to do it again. He never should've taken her. Shed never belonged to him. Or anyone. And she was his only equal in the force._ _

__His respect for her was immeasurable. And because of this, he had to protect her at all costs. They were on a transport, leaving the planet._ _

__Years of work and effort, his precious Starkiller base…_ _

__Kylo knew it was all gone._ _

__He turned slightly, wincing, to see Hux sitting by his side._ _

__If Kylo had been looking for it, he would've noticed a deep tenderness in Hux's eyes. But Hux blinked, dissipating it as the Knight's eyes came into focus. "It's about time you woke up. I was beginning to wonder - "_ _

__" - You lied to me," Kylo said bitingly. "I saw her mind. When you made her change in front of you like the filthy heathen that you are. Snoke never gave the order to kill her."_ _

__Hux smirked. "I did not take pleasure in the sight of her body, but rather the unease and discomfort it caused you."_ _

__Kylo wanted to kill him. He'd never even had the pleasure of seeing her. And he knew now he never would._ _

__"It was a test. I learned that above all else, you'll put her first. Which therefore means, I cannot trust you. And neither can Supreme Leader Snoke."_ _

__Kylo scowled at his rival. "Her death wouldn't have been beneficial to us in the slightest."_ _

__Hux laughed. "You _say _that, and yet here you are, torn to pieces, cut down to the bone by the very person you fought so hard to keep alive," he shook his head, the irony of the situation vastly amusing him.___ _

____Kylo kicked him so he fell out of his chair. Just because he couldn't kill him didn't mean he couldn't put him in his place._ _ _ _

____"Such immaturity," Hux huffed, shaking. "You're only angry because you know I'm right. If you'd just retrieved the droid, and stuck to the plan, we'd still have Starkiller, we'd probably be halfway across the galaxy by now on our way to find Skywalker, and Supreme Leader Snoke would've completed your training."_ _ _ _

____"The destruction of Starkiller Base is just as much your failure as it is mine," he snapped, wincing again, laying his head back down. "How was it even possible that the Resistance fighters were able to get through our shields?"_ _ _ _

____Hux stiffened, swallowing with obvious irritation. Finally, Kylo had struck a nerve. "Apparently someone deactivated the shields."_ _ _ _

____"So we have a traitor among us," Kylo snapped. "And by the way, it was a traitor, FN-2187, that aided in the girl's escape and the detonation of bombs in our base. He knew Starkiller's layout. I'm sure he provided very valuable insider information to the resistance."_ _ _ _

____"Shut up," Hux said, but Kylo continued._ _ _ _

____"Our base got destroyed because _one _defector…one stormtrooper that went rogue…was all it took to override our security, disable our shields, and destroy our base. Your stormtrooper program is a failure. Believe me, you'll have just as much to answer for as I will."___ _ _ _

______Hux scowled, and finally, due to this comment, was silenced. Save for one thing. "We checked the surveillance tapes. Captain Phasma had been held at gunpoint to disable the shields. She was the only one with the clearance to do so."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Kylo felt Hux was still withholding something. "And who was it that coerced our Captain into disabling our shields?"_ _ _ _ _ _

______Hux clenched his jaw. "FN-2187."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Kylo grinned. "And what I'll have to answer for is…I lost a duel."_ _ _ _ _ _

______~.~_ _ _ _ _ _

______When he closed his eyes, she was always there in his dreams._ _ _ _ _ _

______Sometimes as a child, sometimes as a woman, like in the forest. Always there, always out of reach._ _ _ _ _ _

______Except for a memory that had once been lost._ _ _ _ _ _

______Young Ben Solo had been training with a stick but he got punched during a fight, and ran off from the sparring match._ _ _ _ _ _

______He was a very sore loser._ _ _ _ _ _

______He sat cross-legged in front of his hut, sulking. When suddenly he realized there were two small feet in front of him._ _ _ _ _ _

______He looked up._ _ _ _ _ _

______There was a girl, couldn't be any older than 3, standing in front of him with triple buns in the back of her head. Her eyes were bright and gentle but concerned._ _ _ _ _ _

______She pointed at his face, the bruise he knew was growing under the surface of his skin._ _ _ _ _ _

______He shrugged. "You should see what the other guy looks like," he shot her a grin._ _ _ _ _ _

______And like a mirror, she smiled too. The widest and brightest he'd ever seen._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'm Ben," he said, holding a hand out for her to take._ _ _ _ _ _

______She giggled and hobbled towards him, enveloping him in a hug, her short little arms circled around his neck._ _ _ _ _ _

______Her affection completely disarmed him. He hugged her back with the softest touch. She was so small, he was afraid he'd break her._ _ _ _ _ _

______Luke shuffled towards him, his arms behind his back, ever the studious teacher. "This is our newest student, Rey. She seems to have taken quite a liking to you."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ben raised an eyebrow. As far as he knew, Rey was the youngest padawan Luke had agreed to take on._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Has she said anything to you?" Luke asked._ _ _ _ _ _

______Ben shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______Luke sighed. "I was hoping she had. She hasn't spoken to anyone since she's gotten here. Maybe you'll get her to open up a little."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ben shrugged. "Or maybe she's just the quiet type. That's okay too."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Luke smiled. "You have patience with her. That's good. I'll have her stay in your hut with you. It seems to me like she'll be a good influence."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Before he could protest, Luke wandered off toward the main camp. "And no more slacking. A Jedi does not give up, even in the face of adversity."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Ben rolled his eyes, but stopped himself from saying something snarky._ _ _ _ _ _

______The bright brown orbs staring him down, absorbing his every move, reminded him he was now in charge of setting an example._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Yes, Master," he replied instead, gently ruffling her hair._ _ _ _ _ _

______Color rose to her cheeks, and she hid in his shirt._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I wuv you Bin," a soft voice, like tinkling bells muffled against his chest._ _ _ _ _ _

______He grinned from ear to ear. She spoke! And she spoke to him! He was so excited._ _ _ _ _ _

______"Rey talked!" He exclaimed, laughing. "You should do it more often."_ _ _ _ _ _

______But to his surprise, she pressed a hand to his cheek and his mind was flooded with images._ _ _ _ _ _

______Of a beach. Not far from here. She saw it on the way to the training camp. She loved the color of the water and the sound of the wind through the trees._ _ _ _ _ _

______It turned out she loved to communicate, just not with words._ _ _ _ _ _

______"I'll take you there," he said. He stood up, holding her hand in his. "Come on."_ _ _ _ _ _

______Before they'd gotten to the beach, Kylo Ren woke up with a jolt. He exclaimed but then bit his tongue to stop a full-on cry from escaping. His body was trembling, and a cold sweat misted the back of his neck and the tops of his cheeks. The machine monitoring his heart was beeping rampantly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Hux was surprisingly still there, sitting next to the stretcher. "You must have had a dream," Hux said matter-of-factly. "Your heart rate increased considerably before you woke up, and your temperature dropped."_ _ _ _ _ _

______The General saw a glazed look in Kylo's eyes, as if he were somewhere else completely, still stuck in his dream even while conscious. Hux recognized that look. "It was just a dream," he said, in a tone that was almost comforting._ _ _ _ _ _

______Kylo didn't even process Hux's cold, leather-gloved hands gently but firmly pushing Kylo's chest down so he was laying down again, or the General dimming the lights and leaving the room._ _ _ _ _ _

______Only one thought repeated itself over and over in his mind._ _ _ _ _ _

_______I have to get her back. I have to get her back._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______I have_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______To get_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Her..._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Back. ____ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________END OF PART I_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	14. PART 2

The concerned and exhausted Rey sat on Leia's bed, both filled with despair and numb with it all at the same time.

General Organa was searching through her own personal closet, finding clothing items for their newest resistance fighter. "I'm glad you got the chance to know Han."

Rey nodded, holding back tears. She'd already spent so many. "I just can't believe…he could – "

" – Han's death is my fault," Leia said stoically, turning around to face Rey. "I asked him, before he left, that if he found Ben…to bring him home. I never should've asked him to do that."

Rey gasped in shock. "You can't blame yourself for what Kylo Ren did – "

" -Please, don't call him that in front of me. He is still my son."

Rey stiffened, a sickness filling her stomach.

Leia hadn't seen what she'd seen. The murder of Han Solo. The look of Kylo Ren's eyes as he fought her in the snow. But who was she to tell her that her own son was a monster?

"I'd hoped he was," Rey said, choosing her words carefully. "There were even moments when he showed…tenderness." The smell of leather would forever haunt her senses, the soft feathery feel of his hair between her fingers. "But whatever light was still inside him was snuffed out when he killed Han."

"You have feelings for him," Leia said, as if in revelation.

Rey flushed with color and stood up immediately. "W-what?" She stammered, her pulse already racing.

Leia nodded in affirmation. "The way you talk about him...I can tell."

Rey swallowed down the bile that had risen in her throat. "Maybe once but not now."

Leia handed her a woven gray top to put over her new white shirt. "They're still there, or you wouldn't be hurting this much," Leia pointed out.

Rey sighed, shaking her head, as if she could shake out her own foolish thoughts. "Do you know from the force?"

To her surprise, Leia cracked a smile. "No, from experience." She rolled her eyes. "It's written all over your face."

Rey shuddered, mourning the loss of the man Kylo could have been. "If I did...it was for Ben," she declared. "Not the man he's become."

Leia smiled warmly, taking Rey's hands in hers. "We can still save him."

The younger woman was stunned, shaking her head. "How could that be possible? How could you think there's good in him?"

"Because I feel it," Leia said gently. "And if anyone can turn him to the light...it's you."

Rey gasped. "His own father couldn't even bring him back to us! How could I possibly - "

" - You still don't remember, do you?" Leia wondered out loud, her gaze inquisitive. "Even after being with him...for so long...you don't know what he means to you?"

Rey shook her head. "I...I think I might have known him...as a child. But I don't remember anything. Only what he's shown me."

Leia sighed, brushing back a piece of Rey's hair behind your ear. "You're going to a planet surrounded by sea to find Luke. A planet with an Island. Beaches, warm sand, and ocean waves that glitter blue and emerald green under the sun."

It was a question. Rey nodded.

Leia paused for a moment and then continued. "Rey...this isn't the first time."

~.~

Rey had now been training with Luke for three years.

Ben held her close to him as they slept in his hut, burying his nose into her caramel brown hair, breathing in the scent of sunshine and ocean breezes. The night was quiet, save for the distant sound of the crashing waves and the wind playing with the tarp that surrounded them. Her fingers were woven around a lock of his hair.

Ben and Rey had become inseparable. As a toddler, she'd always been trailing behind him, but now they walked side by side, even though she was still much shorter, and her strides were a third the size of his. He walked slower so she could keep up.

She didn't talk much to the other padawans but she was a chatterbox around Ben, complaining if a training day didn't quite go her way or if she ended up facing the business end of a sea creature that didn't take too fondly to her during a morning swim. If she had a story to tell or a secret to share, he was the first to hear about it.

Ben had blossomed as a padawan under the soft, caring presence of the little moonbeam who followed him around. She as if by magic had trained him to be more patient, considerate, and gentle. Even Master Luke noticed that Ben's performance in meditations and force exercises had vastly improved. Ben had one of the worst tempers known to man but Rey always managed to soothe him, like a healing balm over a wound.

His love and affection for her was both immeasurable and indescribable. As a thirteen-year-old boy, he didn't quite have the words or the capacity to articulate how he felt.

She was only a child of course, and he didn't see her this way just yet, but he'd been having dreams.

Dreams of what their lives would be like in the future. Hand in hand, racing each other down the shores of Naboo, where his grandmother had been raised. She would talk to other people besides him, but only to Ben did she confide her darkest secrets.

And one night, in the beach house they shared, on the eve of her sixteenth birthday, he would cup her face in his hand, and she would breathe his name as if he was what kept her whole, and she'd lean in and envelope his lips with her own.

His heart would fill with a force that both shattered him and held him together all at once. Because he would know in that moment, that this was the reason that he'd been born. To be with her.

Ben would wake up from these dreams in a cold sweat, his hands clammy and adrenaline coursing through his entire body.

Padawans were supposed to be open with their master. Always. But for some reason these dreams he kept locked away in his heart from everyone. Even Rey. He didn't want to scare her.

There were what made up the most precious, delicate layer of his soul.

"I love you," he'd whisper to her in the darkness while she slept before trying to go back to sleep himself.

But after he'd fallen asleep again, he'd have another dream.

In the dream, Rey was older, sleeping on top of ship parts and metal scraps, including droid limbs and old artillery. She would shiver from being so cold, tears streaming down her face. Her loneliness would be a weight on her chest, suffocating her until Ben couldn't breathe himself.

And then he would wake up again.

He couldn't let that happen to her. He'd do everything in his power to protect Rey.

Ben jumped at the sounds of footsteps trudging through the sand, approaching the hut.

Without opening his eyes, Ben knew it was Master Luke.

"I know you're awake," his voice said gently but firmly in the darkness. "We need to talk."

Ben had a bad feeling about this, but he had no choice but to obey. He wrapped the blankets more snuggly around Rey, tucking them over her so her ears were covered, and wrapped himself in his padawan robe before leaving the hut.

He stepped out, rubbing his eyes with tiredness. "What is it, Uncle?" He asked.

Luke looked down at him with a sadness in his eyes. "She can't stay with us anymore."

~.~

Even though she'd made her choice, and she'd run away from him, Kylo Ren still had to make sure she was safe.

Starkiller Base was a failure and completely incinerated. But that didn't change the fact that the First Order now knew the location of the Resistance Base.

A tiny little spec of a planet in The Illenium System.

Some part of him knew that Rey was on that planet. And therefore, he wouldn't give the order until he knew with one hundred percent certainty that she was well on her way traveling through the galaxy to find their old master.

He guessed that since she was force-sensitive and still in need of a teacher, she would use her map to go find Luke and train with him. Finding her was going to be Kylo's next problem. But for now, he needed to make sure she left before they launched their invasion.

General Hux startled his thoughts by entering the room. "Are you going to be present when we send our Dreadnought after the resistance fighters?"

Kylo shook his head. "I have business with the Supreme Leader."

Hux scowled. Kylo could feel the jealousy radiating off of him. "Yes, I imagine you await his discipline for your misdeeds."

He was baiting him but Kylo wouldn't take it. Not this time. He only had one priority.

"I will tell you when to engage the hyperdrive and use the dreadnought on the fighters. But wait for my signal."

Hux laughed darkly. "Are you insane? Every second we waste waiting for your signal is another moment they have time to prepare an evacuation."

Kylo took a deep breath and answered calmly. He had to play this right, because for once, Hux was right. If the Supreme Leader were here, Kylo knew he would advise attacking immediately.

"We have to give enough time for the girl to get on her ship and leave the system," Kylo said honestly.

Hux's eyebrows were fully knit together now into a plateau of judgment. "And why on earth would we pay her that courtesy after everything she's done? After all the damage she's caused?"

"Because she's going to lead us straight to Skywalker."

~.~

Leia was making haste as she helped Rey pack all her things onto the Falcon.

"Are you sure you don't want me here for the Funeral service?" Rey said, her shoulders slumped in disappointment.

But Leia had a warning in her eyes. "It's going to be a speech, Short and sweet, just like Han would've wanted. And then we're going to be leaving this place."

Rey wanted to speak more but Leia was pushing her up the ramp. "Why?" Rey asked.

"We destroyed their weapon but they're going to come with their fleet of star destroyers to obliterate us now that they've found us. It's not safe here."

"But - " Rey tried to protest, but Leia cut her off.

" - It's only a matter of time before they gather up their resources and attack."

Rey sighed. "I should stay here and help you all. I should be fighting."

Leia shook her head. "No, your job is most important of all. You need to find Luke. My brother is our only hope against the First Order."

Rey nodded, feeling the weight of responsibility on her shoulders, for the first time. "I'll bring him home, General. I promise."

Leia handed her a small tracking beacon, and clasped Rey's hand in hers. "So you know the way home," she said. "Now go."

Rey ran up the ramp of the Millenium Falcon and down the hall to the driver's seat, buckling in and flipping her toggle switches, getting ready for take-off.

~.~

From the same direction as the Illenium System, Kylo saw a beam of silver light streak across the starry void of space.

He knew it had been her.

She was safe.

Kylo stood up from his chair and left the bridge of Hux's ship to board a pod to Snoke's. "Launch the Dreadnought," he said to Hux over his shoulder. "Begin the War."


	15. PART 2

Ben shook his head furiously, blocking Master Luke's way to the hut.

Luke sighed, knowing this wasn't going to be easy. "She's not safe here anymore. There's a bad person. A bounty hunter, looking for her."

"Then I'll protect her," Ben said, hope shining in his eyes. "I've been getting stronger and stronger every day."

But Luke was firm. "Ben, if they find her here, she'll expose all of us. We're just barely starting to rebuild the Jedi."

"Then we'll fight!" Ben exclaimed.

Luke's eyes widened with shock. "None of you are masters, yet. You're still just children. We're nothing compared to an army of imperial stormtroopers, Ben."

But Ben remembered the dreams. The bad ones, where she was all alone. His entire body was filling with panic. "You can't." Tears were welling up in his eyes.

Luke knelt down to Ben's level, looking him straight in the eyes. "Jedi do not let their emotions get the best of them like this. Reel them in."

Ben stiffened, his panic being replaced with anger. "She's only a child. As an older padawan its my job to be her mentor, make sure she's safe – "

"– I know about the dreams, Ben," Luke stated, making Ben blush red.

But he stood his ground. "They're just dreams. They don't mean anything."

"You know that's not true. They're visions, of what will come to pass. You know what will happen if she stays."

"Then let us go to Naboo," Ben blurted. "Where your mother grew up. She'll be safe there. And there's beaches, so she can still go swimming."

Luke shot him a look of disdain. "You've become too attached. Jedi do not put others before their duties. And this is exactly why. You're willing to jeopardize her safety just to ensure your own happiness."

"NO!" Ben exclaimed, a guttural yowl releasing from his chest. "I would do anything for her! Anything to keep her safe, I would give my own life to protect her!"

"If that's true, then you must send her away without any regret."

But the boy knew what would happen to her if he did. "You can't take her from me," he said, his voice a plea. In a broken whisper, he admitted, "I love her."

"She's six years old," Luke said.

"I love who she becomes," Ben said, fully crying now. "I love who I am when I'm with her. Please…" He fell to his knees, leaning on them for support. "Please let her stay. Please."

"I don't want to send her away either," Luke admitted, placing a hand on Ben's shoulder. "But it's not about what we want. It's about what's best for her. This is what being a Jedi means. Sacrificing during times of adversity, even when it asks more from us than we're willing to give."

"If you have to send her away…" Ben compromised, "Then let me go too."

"You need to complete your training here. You're not ready. You haven't fully mastered your powers – "

" – Then I won't become a Jedi," Ben said, his entire body trembling. It's what he'd been training for…ever since he was a child…But was it even worth it if he couldn't save Rey?

Luke didn't want to see Ben go. He was among his best and brightest students. And if Luke didn't keep a close eye on him…he could stray from the path of light. "What about your parents? They're so proud that you're on the Jedi path…are you really willing to disappoint them like this?"

Ben was a rock, firm and unrelenting. Suddenly his demeanor was entirely different. There was a silent, wild desperation in his eyes, but his voice was even. "I won't do it unless I can see her again."

Luke blinked, stunned. He'd never seen such an intensity in his nephew before.

It was almost…dark.

"You have to promise that someday…somehow…I'll see her again," he said, his glare firey and determined.

In truth, Luke had received visions of them together…

But not in the way Ben thinks.

If Luke wasn't careful, his nephew could turn to the dark side. And Palpatine's daughter, along with the grandson of Darth Vader, would be hand in hand, side by side…

Leading the Final Order.

What Luke said was true. There was a Jedi-bounty hunter after Rey. Because of her power, her lineage. The shadow of Palpatine still lingered in the dark shadowy places of Luke's visions.

But it wasn't the only reason he was sending her away.

Maybe if he separated them…he'd stop the evil vines of darkness at the root. But even now, Luke had doubts about this decision.

Luke admitted the horrific truth. "Yes," he said. "You will see her again."

But only over Luke's dead body.

~.~

Kylo Ren approached Snoke's chambers with reservations in his heart.

His father's loving, forgiving eyes still haunted him.

Taking Han Solo's life should've been the final nail in the coffin. His defining moment. The point of no return.

But it had changed nothing. His heart was no less tormented than it was before.

Kylo was startled from his reverie by an unexpected presence.

"Tied on a string indeed, General Hux," Supreme Leader Snoke's voice bellowed from his throne room. "Well done. The Resistance will soon be in our grasp."

"Thank you, Supreme Leader," Hux said, walking out of the throne room.

Kylo stiffened, even under his mask.

What the hell? The dreadnought operation was a disaster, why was he being congratulated?

As he passed, Hux shot Ren a smirk of arrogance.

I don't understand why he even holds any authority here, Kylo wondered. He glared back underneath his mask, and even through his surgical stitches.

The pain in his skin worth the fire he could shoot at Hux, even if the cocky General was unable to see it.

"You wonder why I keep a rabid cur in such a place of power," His master said, clearly reading Kylo's thoughts.

Yes, he thought, telepathically communicating with Snoke.

"Because weakness," Snoke answered out loud, "when properly manipulated, can be a sharp tool."

Strangely, Snoke's tone changed slightly. It was a barely perceivable difference, unless you'd been groomed from childhood to know his every mood, every expression. "How's your wound?" he asked with just a hint of tenderness and concern.

Kylo Ren felt a pang of guilt and shame at his master's inquiry, as if he were a youngling that needed looking after. "It's nothing," he said unconvincingly, his heart on his sleeve.

He was kneeling on one knee in front of the Supreme Leader, his head bowed low. He was every bit the knight he'd been trained to be.

He'd had his fantasies about being with Rey, holding her hand, leading her down the path of the Sith. But it was a dream he'd once had, nothing more. Now that he was back in front of his master, reality had hit him like an asteroid.

He needed to let go of the girl. Kylo Ren had one purpose, and one purpose only.

To destroy the Jedi.

Any future attempts at saving her or sparing her from Snoke's wrath were actions that directly conflicted with this goal. This one thing that drove him.

Snoke alone had taken care of him. Let him grow into the man he was meant to be. From the very beginning, Snoke had been by his side, helping him reach each milestone on the path of darkness. Even in rare, stumbling moments of weakness, they'd both made it through together.

Now, no matter what, he'd do everything in his power to get back in Snoke's good graces.

"The mighty Kylo Ren," Snoke began, getting up from his throne. "When I found you…I saw what all masters live to see. Raw, untamed power. And beyond that, something truly special."

Kylo swallowed down a flush that had risen to his face. It was a lie to say he didn't feel like an adored, pampered pet, being lovingly stroked by its owner. The Supreme Leader's words restored a bit of faith in himself.

"The potential of your bloodline…a new...Vader."

Yes! Kylo thought, pride flowing through his limbs. Exactly! It's all he'd ever wanted.

But Snoke's face held disappointment and resentment. "Now, I fear…I was mistaken."

Kylo's breath caught in his throat. No. His pride instantaneously dissolved into anguish.

He couldn't hide the hurt in his voice. "I gave everything I have to you. To the dark side."

"Take that ridiculous thing off," Snoke muttered with distaste.

No. He wasn't ready. He didn't want his master to see him like this.

There was only the slightest hesitation. But in the end, he had no choice. It was a direct order. He clicked the latches, so his mask popped open, and he pulled it off his head with both hands.

He was vulnerable now. The scars, wounds, and the hurt in his eyes visible for everyone to see.

Kylo couldn't even look at him.

"Yes. There it is. You have too much of your father's heart in you, young Solo."

Kylo gritted his teeth, a growl in his words. "I killed Han Solo," he snapped. "When the moment came, I didn't hesitate!"

Snoke looked him up and down. "And look at you. It's split your spirit to the bone. You were unbalanced!"

No, Kylo protested.

"Bested by a girl who had never held a lightsaber, you failed!"

He couldn't help it. He didn't want Snoke even uttering her name. He'd brought up the girl he loved and used her as a tool against him, to wound his heart.

He didn't think. He rushed at Snoke, with the intent of inflicting pain that equaled what he was feeling –

But was instead shot with raw, electrifying energy that stole his breath and shoved him back onto the floor.

The lightning had fried every nerve, making his muscles sting with pain. He glared at his master, and the Red guards that rose to protect him.

"SKYWALKER LIVES!" Snoke exclaimed. "THE SEED OF THE JEDI ORDER LIVES. AS LONG AS IT DOES, HOPE LIVES IN THE GALAXY."

What Snoke said was true. Skywalker needed to be taken down.

But the only way he was going to get to Luke was through Rey. And he wasn't ready to face her. Not after her rejection.

"I thought you would be the one to snuff it out," Snoke continued, each biting word a knife in his heart. "Unless you're no Vader."

Kylo was silent but in his head, he was screaming.

"You're just a child. in a mask."

~.~

Luke looked between the two of them. Chewy and this…girl.

Who looked strangely familiar.

"He…" Rey began, but tears filled her eyes. "He's…he's gone."

Luke couldn't stop it if he tried. The mental reel of images in his mind of Han. The dashing, swashbuckling smuggler and hero that won his sister's heart. The man who'd saved his life on more than one occasion. The man he'd given his blessing to on Endor to a long and happy life with Leia.

He remembered every battle, every war, the scars and the blood and the sounds that would forever echo in both of their minds, as veterans. The sounds of lasers, the echo of star destroyers lightyears away exploding into shards of metal, glass, and fire in the deep expanse of the galaxy from ground level.

And most of all, the feel of having them both on each arm when they were in their prime. The smiles laughs and hugs that tied them together. The loves of his life, the best of himself and the best of his heart. Leia and Han.

He couldn't even imagine the pain his sister was feeling at his passing.

Luke should've been there for her, to comfort her.

There was a time when Han's death was unimaginable. Surely Luke would've known at his very core that his best friend was no longer of this world.

But he'd cut himself off from the force years ago.

"How did it happen?" Luke couldn't help but ask, his eyes lost in the past.

A tear fell down Rey's face, but her hands were tightened into fists at her sides. "Kylo Ren," she whispered, anger seeping from her pores.

No. No. NO! Luke stormed out of his yurt, hastening down the stone steps that led to the main beach.

It was his fault. It had all been his fault from the very beginning. He never should've taken on Ben as a student.

And the girl….

He glared in Rey's direction, who had begun to follow him.

Now he remembered.

It was her.

"If you take another step near me, I'll strike you down," Luke warned, a dagger at his side.

Rey gasped, taking a step backwards.

Luke could hear it. The darkness in his voice. It didn't surface often, but losing Han was a blow. He needed to mourn, and this girl needed to go.

Who was she, to cry over Han, his dearest, lifelong friend? Who was Rey Palpatine to Han Solo?

No. It was too much. He needed to be alone. He couldn't even be with Chewie.

"Leave this place. Leave me be," Luke warned, storming off into the rain.

"Please!" Rey ran off after him. "He was my friend!"

Luke froze, not turning around, but he heard the girls sobs, even over the raging elements.

"His death is my fault!" Rey yelled over the roar of the storm.

Confusion overwhelmed him. She was blaming herself. Just as he was.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried. "I thought I could change him. I thought I could turn him to the light. And I failed. I'm the reason Han is dead!"

Luke scowled at her. Her tears, her youth, her guilt. She reminded him of himself, twenty years ago. "I've known Han since I was eighteen years old. He was my brother. I need to mourn him in my own way. I'm sorry he was your loss, too."

With that, Luke strutted off into the rain, until the girls' sobs had dissolved into the rain.


End file.
